\\SiLenCenD-ShaDoW//

Click on the lights and wheels to navigate.

The silenced shadow.....

I search for years, but i never find what I seek..
I wonder about the thoughts I have and the dreams I create...

The end result, I am, from the clash of darkness and light,
not defined by purpose nor bound by natural inclinations..

Fighting now for an identity, people scourn and jeer at my hapeless wandering...
Tempted to succumb to the bait of acceptence,
Lured by the sweet scent of easy rest I shall march on to that seemingly impossile goal I have.

Friends I have, but real are they, I'll never be able to tell.

Tales of endless friendship and alliegance of loyalties are always promised, but kept?

I do not want to know.

In times of fun, Games and glory they are there, when I'm needed they are there too..
But if I ever need them, will they still be there??

I don't know.

Visible I am only when required for tasks which dirties the hand or garners no worthy bounty.
Invisible I am at all other times of games and gatherings.

Needed, used and diacarded, that is what I have become for being too nice to insensitive
and stuck up fools.

On days where I'm not needed I always can sense a certain amount of disapproval from my surroundings.

My own mortal mother disdains at my doings.
MY own life I cannot control, My decisions often overwritten by her just by meer fact she's lived longer.

People say they know me well, but when the test comes all fall short and say I am too compicated and unsure of my being.

Mystery shrouds my life from strangers and curious by-standers

A stone walled sheild I seem to have, round a fortress that consumes the true me, never trusting never communicating.

The key that unlocks I keep near me.. No longer dangling to allow anyone in.

The phanthom that engulfed me is now one and true with me. Yet my fears remain and they stab at me with unchecked fury. I have accepted its fate and seem strangely comfortable to being alone and isolated.
But waiting, I am, for the one who shatters this isolating prison.

Death's once horrid stench has become a fragrent scent to me.
I await the day his gleaming blood-stained scythe and gaping, lifeless face visits me.
With reluctant resistance I fight the reapers taunt now, living to find acceptence, searching to quench my quest and lay rest to these haunting thoughts and fleeting memories...

The visible invisibilty I have become..

The Shadow wanders on..

Searching...

[]__^{MemorY Capsule}__[]
Thursday, January 15, 2009

Yay!! I can blog again!! My RPC is finally fixed! I can blog in privacy and comfor of my bed again! =)

I'm now working for Silent.. A car company which basically does whatever it can to cars/ with cars to earn money. Generally a nice bunch, save the MD & big boss.. Young spoilt brats they are, with a temper to match a volcano's fury.

I recently went to ST Aero for an interview.. And the security there think they are such big shots. One asked me which COMPANY I was going to and made a fusswhen I kept repeating ST aero. What he actually meant was which DEPARTMENT of ST Aero. He was just lucky I was tired or I would have humuliated him to no end. To those who think they know me well adn think I can't posibly do that... Think again.. I made many enemies in school thanks to my Viper's tongue. I've kept it dormant since as I feel it isnt nice to do such things to people..

Janice, we should really meet someday.. I'll intro my gf to you, she doesnt trust you cause you are a sweet young, pretty girl that I trust - she's jealous basically..;) She'll see that you're alright once you meet. She felt the same about Grace too uuntil she met her.

I still wish I was dead. Running is always the easiest thing to do in times like this. I've become untolerant to the typical singaporean, I've made loud rude but true comments about singaporeans, rammed my way out of the MRT/LRT/Monorail/Skytrain intentionally digging my shoulder into other people. I've lost my dreams, inspiration. I don't know what I want nor am going to do.. I always want to be alone but I cant. My gf needs me to be with her. I'm lost.

God, Help Me please.

brakes applied at |11:52 am|

Comments: Post a Comment