[]__MemorY Capsule__[]
Wednesday, October 22, 2008
I'm completely lost. I've left school for good this time.. So many problems.. So little support.. I'm going to work soon.. Hopefully It'll help iron things out in my mind. So many times I wanted to break up, cause tt would mean I'd be free of relationships that I care about. That I truely treasure and value and love. Baby can't understand whats going on in my life.. She thinks its a simple matter of the harsh & hard lesson of letting go. It isnt. Its more than that.. I know she loves me and wants me to meet daily or at least be contactable.. But I cant.. I'm burnt out. I know now that I'm completely exhausted. I cant slp, cant eat properly, cant concentrate on stuff, cant control my temper anymore & I've lost reason for my drive. Don't know wh but I've just lost it.
I know how to fix it.. But I cant. Its like how a car has so much BHP but no way of using all that power. No use having 1000BHP without any means of transfering it to movement. And no use moving if there's zero control. What I need is the "traction" and "handling" and a "gearbox". I have the BHP potential. I know I do, I've even been told. I just sorta lost my grip on things..
Things at home arent helping. Did I say home?? I meant house. I've no more home. No more mom. She doesnt want to understand me. Nor do I want to allow her tt luxury anymore. I wanna cry.. But I cant.. I'm going to explode very soon.. What can I do now......
brakes applied at |2:03 am|