\\SiLenCenD-ShaDoW//

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The silenced shadow.....

I search for years, but i never find what I seek..
I wonder about the thoughts I have and the dreams I create...

The end result, I am, from the clash of darkness and light,
not defined by purpose nor bound by natural inclinations..

Fighting now for an identity, people scourn and jeer at my hapeless wandering...
Tempted to succumb to the bait of acceptence,
Lured by the sweet scent of easy rest I shall march on to that seemingly impossile goal I have.

Friends I have, but real are they, I'll never be able to tell.

Tales of endless friendship and alliegance of loyalties are always promised, but kept?

I do not want to know.

In times of fun, Games and glory they are there, when I'm needed they are there too..
But if I ever need them, will they still be there??

I don't know.

Visible I am only when required for tasks which dirties the hand or garners no worthy bounty.
Invisible I am at all other times of games and gatherings.

Needed, used and diacarded, that is what I have become for being too nice to insensitive
and stuck up fools.

On days where I'm not needed I always can sense a certain amount of disapproval from my surroundings.

My own mortal mother disdains at my doings.
MY own life I cannot control, My decisions often overwritten by her just by meer fact she's lived longer.

People say they know me well, but when the test comes all fall short and say I am too compicated and unsure of my being.

Mystery shrouds my life from strangers and curious by-standers

A stone walled sheild I seem to have, round a fortress that consumes the true me, never trusting never communicating.

The key that unlocks I keep near me.. No longer dangling to allow anyone in.

The phanthom that engulfed me is now one and true with me. Yet my fears remain and they stab at me with unchecked fury. I have accepted its fate and seem strangely comfortable to being alone and isolated.
But waiting, I am, for the one who shatters this isolating prison.

Death's once horrid stench has become a fragrent scent to me.
I await the day his gleaming blood-stained scythe and gaping, lifeless face visits me.
With reluctant resistance I fight the reapers taunt now, living to find acceptence, searching to quench my quest and lay rest to these haunting thoughts and fleeting memories...

The visible invisibilty I have become..

The Shadow wanders on..

Searching...

[]__^{MemorY Capsule}__[]
Sunday, July 06, 2008

Well, I'm really supposed to be asleep rite now.... But just cant.. It really bothers me more and more... Singaporeans...We claim to be educated, civilised, friendly, maybe even polite... But just how true is it?? Where DO all these survey results come from? Do the surveyors hang around raffles place or cityhall or maybe even orchard? Then approach 'random' select people, then use their honest replies?(IF the ans are truely honest.. big if..) Oh, come on, how many times have you paused to think whilst ans a survey? The moment you pause, the results are no longer accurate. I mean, maybe its cause we're not taught how to read pictures and signs and REAL BASIC COURTESY. Or maybe we're just to good to just be a little sensitive to people's needs. Just think what does the word "closing time" mean? Never heard of it?? You know, at SHOPS.. At which people work and actually have a HOME to RETURN to... You jack-asses arent the only ones with homes to return to. I wonder how thick can a person be knock on a shops shutters at 10pm when the shop closes at 930? Do you think closing a shop is so simple? There are plenty many things to do before the staff can go home for a hard-earned rest. And you wonder why Singapore service staff can be so rude. Did you ever thank a sales person for a service she/he renders to you? Even if she fails to complete it for whatever reason it maybe? I received a compliment today from a customer, he told me supervisor and my supervisor in turn told me. And I have absolutely no words for the feeling and encouragement it brings. So think about it.. Why service staff can't be bothered with you the next time you visit a shop..

brakes applied at |12:38 am|

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