\\SiLenCenD-ShaDoW//

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The silenced shadow.....

I search for years, but i never find what I seek..
I wonder about the thoughts I have and the dreams I create...

The end result, I am, from the clash of darkness and light,
not defined by purpose nor bound by natural inclinations..

Fighting now for an identity, people scourn and jeer at my hapeless wandering...
Tempted to succumb to the bait of acceptence,
Lured by the sweet scent of easy rest I shall march on to that seemingly impossile goal I have.

Friends I have, but real are they, I'll never be able to tell.

Tales of endless friendship and alliegance of loyalties are always promised, but kept?

I do not want to know.

In times of fun, Games and glory they are there, when I'm needed they are there too..
But if I ever need them, will they still be there??

I don't know.

Visible I am only when required for tasks which dirties the hand or garners no worthy bounty.
Invisible I am at all other times of games and gatherings.

Needed, used and diacarded, that is what I have become for being too nice to insensitive
and stuck up fools.

On days where I'm not needed I always can sense a certain amount of disapproval from my surroundings.

My own mortal mother disdains at my doings.
MY own life I cannot control, My decisions often overwritten by her just by meer fact she's lived longer.

People say they know me well, but when the test comes all fall short and say I am too compicated and unsure of my being.

Mystery shrouds my life from strangers and curious by-standers

A stone walled sheild I seem to have, round a fortress that consumes the true me, never trusting never communicating.

The key that unlocks I keep near me.. No longer dangling to allow anyone in.

The phanthom that engulfed me is now one and true with me. Yet my fears remain and they stab at me with unchecked fury. I have accepted its fate and seem strangely comfortable to being alone and isolated.
But waiting, I am, for the one who shatters this isolating prison.

Death's once horrid stench has become a fragrent scent to me.
I await the day his gleaming blood-stained scythe and gaping, lifeless face visits me.
With reluctant resistance I fight the reapers taunt now, living to find acceptence, searching to quench my quest and lay rest to these haunting thoughts and fleeting memories...

The visible invisibilty I have become..

The Shadow wanders on..

Searching...

[]__^{MemorY Capsule}__[]
Monday, December 24, 2007

Im sick. Of life.
I'm starting to falter in my steps. I wanna rest. Maybe just falling would be the best? Off this balancing beam of the creasts and abyss.

Im tired. Of everything.
Of the pressure, the crumbling world. Its traslucent facade. Its shattering supports. The false sense of security. The judgemental charity. Bridges that support only which it has use for. The same bridge that will love you when your in the green and discard you when your in the red.
Mounting pressure without a BOV. In me.

Why me... Why do I do thing the way i do?

Remember me? Don't bother. Shadows need not be remembered. Happiness in lonliness, sadness in joy. Murdering anger and seething thoughts. I've enough.

brakes applied at |12:56 am|

Sunday, December 09, 2007

Well, even more things to think about.

WHY THE HELL DO SOME BOSSES, NO MATTER WHAT SIZE (singlish here with no pun intended) THEY ARE THINK THAT THEY CAN BE UNREASONABLE, RUDE AND ARE SO DARN FULL OF THEMSELVES?

You bosses think respect is gotten by simply being in your current position? So wrong.
The type of respect I give such bosses is merely an unwilling courtesy, just enough to keep me from getting burned by the power that they unfortunately have been given with. Get this in your mind. You were PLACED there just because you have a sheet of paper that only proves you can study and in NSF's cases, luck. In the army, NSFs holding higher appointment are just lucky they are chosen, the people that choose don't know how well you work. They just use a closed-up and ridiculous system of looking at paper qualifications. Many workplaces are still like that i believe. So Bosses that are PLACED in their positions shouldn't be so damn stuck up and arrogant and think that only they are right and have the power to do what ever they can to their "minions".

As for those that actually managed to climb up the food-chain to get to where you are, kudos to you! But REMEMBER how you got there.

brakes applied at |12:40 am|

To all teenage & student netizens! AVOID WORKING FOR XENITH pte ltd.

There is a "supervisor" there that is unreasonably arrogant, unprofessional, fickel minded, fond of last minute termination of employment, plans poorly and can extremely rude! Avoid at all cost!

brakes applied at |12:24 am|