\\SiLenCenD-ShaDoW//

Click on the lights and wheels to navigate.

The silenced shadow.....

I search for years, but i never find what I seek..
I wonder about the thoughts I have and the dreams I create...

The end result, I am, from the clash of darkness and light,
not defined by purpose nor bound by natural inclinations..

Fighting now for an identity, people scourn and jeer at my hapeless wandering...
Tempted to succumb to the bait of acceptence,
Lured by the sweet scent of easy rest I shall march on to that seemingly impossile goal I have.

Friends I have, but real are they, I'll never be able to tell.

Tales of endless friendship and alliegance of loyalties are always promised, but kept?

I do not want to know.

In times of fun, Games and glory they are there, when I'm needed they are there too..
But if I ever need them, will they still be there??

I don't know.

Visible I am only when required for tasks which dirties the hand or garners no worthy bounty.
Invisible I am at all other times of games and gatherings.

Needed, used and diacarded, that is what I have become for being too nice to insensitive
and stuck up fools.

On days where I'm not needed I always can sense a certain amount of disapproval from my surroundings.

My own mortal mother disdains at my doings.
MY own life I cannot control, My decisions often overwritten by her just by meer fact she's lived longer.

People say they know me well, but when the test comes all fall short and say I am too compicated and unsure of my being.

Mystery shrouds my life from strangers and curious by-standers

A stone walled sheild I seem to have, round a fortress that consumes the true me, never trusting never communicating.

The key that unlocks I keep near me.. No longer dangling to allow anyone in.

The phanthom that engulfed me is now one and true with me. Yet my fears remain and they stab at me with unchecked fury. I have accepted its fate and seem strangely comfortable to being alone and isolated.
But waiting, I am, for the one who shatters this isolating prison.

Death's once horrid stench has become a fragrent scent to me.
I await the day his gleaming blood-stained scythe and gaping, lifeless face visits me.
With reluctant resistance I fight the reapers taunt now, living to find acceptence, searching to quench my quest and lay rest to these haunting thoughts and fleeting memories...

The visible invisibilty I have become..

The Shadow wanders on..

Searching...

[]__^{MemorY Capsule}__[]
Thursday, December 21, 2006

Well... My PC is down.. Lightning got the better of my power supply.. Hehe.. Im using my brother's Laptop now..

Well, thanks to the torrent of rain, the access road to my ESHs was flooded to around knee level. I was crazy enough to go in to do work with another guy during a CAT 1 storm the day before, Didn't have to walk in but the waves the 5 ton made was proof enough of how deep the water level was.. Later when I wanted to leave the depot, we couldnt hail a vehicle and no one answered the coms.. So no choice, we walked. We had already forgotten about the flood though.. So we walked and when we saw the road..... Oh boy...... "shit!" was our immediate reaction.. We attempted to walk through the middle of the road, 'test' our combat boots waterproof claims... But it was too deep, we werent even 1/4 way through when we realised that we couldnt walk through, not unless we wanted our pants, socks and feet to be soaked. We ended up clinging to the fence to walk through, but even then, the water level was higher then our boots, so water slipped in anyway.. We gave up trying to keep our feet dry and just walked through...

Went for my MA yesterday afternoon and on the way back, I helped a Sec 3 girl get off the bus yesterday, some stupid indian bloke was leaning on the buzzer closest to her and the bus was so crowded that she couldnt reach any of the other buzzers.. Funnily, everyone else just seemed to ignore her, even tho it was obvious she was panicing. So juz reached over my head and pressed the bell for her... She didnt see me do it so don't anyone say I was trying to get her attention... I just thought that it was funny, that people often like to say indians are thick skinned and here this guy couldnt feel the poor girls fingers trying to press the buzzer.. So are they thick skinned?? hehe.. U do the math... wells, I gtg now.. Take care!! Stay happy you!! God bless!

brakes applied at |5:47 pm|

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