\\SiLenCenD-ShaDoW//

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The silenced shadow.....

I search for years, but i never find what I seek..
I wonder about the thoughts I have and the dreams I create...

The end result, I am, from the clash of darkness and light,
not defined by purpose nor bound by natural inclinations..

Fighting now for an identity, people scourn and jeer at my hapeless wandering...
Tempted to succumb to the bait of acceptence,
Lured by the sweet scent of easy rest I shall march on to that seemingly impossile goal I have.

Friends I have, but real are they, I'll never be able to tell.

Tales of endless friendship and alliegance of loyalties are always promised, but kept?

I do not want to know.

In times of fun, Games and glory they are there, when I'm needed they are there too..
But if I ever need them, will they still be there??

I don't know.

Visible I am only when required for tasks which dirties the hand or garners no worthy bounty.
Invisible I am at all other times of games and gatherings.

Needed, used and diacarded, that is what I have become for being too nice to insensitive
and stuck up fools.

On days where I'm not needed I always can sense a certain amount of disapproval from my surroundings.

My own mortal mother disdains at my doings.
MY own life I cannot control, My decisions often overwritten by her just by meer fact she's lived longer.

People say they know me well, but when the test comes all fall short and say I am too compicated and unsure of my being.

Mystery shrouds my life from strangers and curious by-standers

A stone walled sheild I seem to have, round a fortress that consumes the true me, never trusting never communicating.

The key that unlocks I keep near me.. No longer dangling to allow anyone in.

The phanthom that engulfed me is now one and true with me. Yet my fears remain and they stab at me with unchecked fury. I have accepted its fate and seem strangely comfortable to being alone and isolated.
But waiting, I am, for the one who shatters this isolating prison.

Death's once horrid stench has become a fragrent scent to me.
I await the day his gleaming blood-stained scythe and gaping, lifeless face visits me.
With reluctant resistance I fight the reapers taunt now, living to find acceptence, searching to quench my quest and lay rest to these haunting thoughts and fleeting memories...

The visible invisibilty I have become..

The Shadow wanders on..

Searching...

[]__^{MemorY Capsule}__[]
Tuesday, October 17, 2006

Well, well, well... Cpt Gaimon thinks he knows it all.... Just cause some of the guys come out early nearly daily, doesnt mean that we are propery staffed and do not lack manpower. I bet you couldnt handle a storhouse properly for a month. Don't know how it works in the field , just the theory. Jackass. Typical of the army.

That aside, range today got terminated halfway due to 'unforeseen circumstances', namely an apparent forest fire nearby. It wad good to see they stopped us from shooting as to protect the firemen from bo-bo shooters, but why did the camp's training go on? We saw a group of soilders training along the road by the range we were in. The fire WAS bad enough to warrant 2 fire engines, a foam truck(I think), a Rhino and an a tracked ATV along with a host of other support vehicles. We left the range finally at about 730pm. We could see the glow of the fire over the horizon, see and smell the smoke too.. I was still raging when we left. Pray that God has help those firemen. Take care people, I wont be blogging for a week due to stayin. Peace and God Bless!

brakes applied at |11:43 pm|

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