\\SiLenCenD-ShaDoW//

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The silenced shadow.....

I search for years, but i never find what I seek..
I wonder about the thoughts I have and the dreams I create...

The end result, I am, from the clash of darkness and light,
not defined by purpose nor bound by natural inclinations..

Fighting now for an identity, people scourn and jeer at my hapeless wandering...
Tempted to succumb to the bait of acceptence,
Lured by the sweet scent of easy rest I shall march on to that seemingly impossile goal I have.

Friends I have, but real are they, I'll never be able to tell.

Tales of endless friendship and alliegance of loyalties are always promised, but kept?

I do not want to know.

In times of fun, Games and glory they are there, when I'm needed they are there too..
But if I ever need them, will they still be there??

I don't know.

Visible I am only when required for tasks which dirties the hand or garners no worthy bounty.
Invisible I am at all other times of games and gatherings.

Needed, used and diacarded, that is what I have become for being too nice to insensitive
and stuck up fools.

On days where I'm not needed I always can sense a certain amount of disapproval from my surroundings.

My own mortal mother disdains at my doings.
MY own life I cannot control, My decisions often overwritten by her just by meer fact she's lived longer.

People say they know me well, but when the test comes all fall short and say I am too compicated and unsure of my being.

Mystery shrouds my life from strangers and curious by-standers

A stone walled sheild I seem to have, round a fortress that consumes the true me, never trusting never communicating.

The key that unlocks I keep near me.. No longer dangling to allow anyone in.

The phanthom that engulfed me is now one and true with me. Yet my fears remain and they stab at me with unchecked fury. I have accepted its fate and seem strangely comfortable to being alone and isolated.
But waiting, I am, for the one who shatters this isolating prison.

Death's once horrid stench has become a fragrent scent to me.
I await the day his gleaming blood-stained scythe and gaping, lifeless face visits me.
With reluctant resistance I fight the reapers taunt now, living to find acceptence, searching to quench my quest and lay rest to these haunting thoughts and fleeting memories...

The visible invisibilty I have become..

The Shadow wanders on..

Searching...

[]__^{MemorY Capsule}__[]
Tuesday, October 31, 2006

Today, in the depot a friend asked, how do you know which are the clouds in the sky... It was an overcast day and from the depot we could see 3 diff colours in the sky, the nice sky blue, cotton white and sort of sea-grey... I didnt know what to answer.. But it is wonderful to ponder over such a simple, random question...

Later when we reach my own ESH, lightning struck an area that was relatively close to us, ironically just after we mentioned that the three of us shldnt be walking in the open during such weather and that we COULD be struck by lightning...
It was so close you could hear the impact of the lightning striking an object.. I belive it struck the lamp post by the bend outside the ESH.. It was magnificient. The light was blindingly bright, it happened so fast that one probably couldnt even finish blinking an eye before the whole episode ended... The sound... I don't know how to explain it, but it is like no other.. Something like lightning blasts from heros 3, but much more awe inspiring.. Certainly, it was dangerously close.. But all I felt was awe and just simply humbled that the creator of that lightning strike would actually bother to care for one such as me.... It was a once in lifetime experience.. To have lightning strike in front of me.. Would never trade it for anything else...

brakes applied at |9:12 pm|

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