\\SiLenCenD-ShaDoW//

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The silenced shadow.....

I search for years, but i never find what I seek..
I wonder about the thoughts I have and the dreams I create...

The end result, I am, from the clash of darkness and light,
not defined by purpose nor bound by natural inclinations..

Fighting now for an identity, people scourn and jeer at my hapeless wandering...
Tempted to succumb to the bait of acceptence,
Lured by the sweet scent of easy rest I shall march on to that seemingly impossile goal I have.

Friends I have, but real are they, I'll never be able to tell.

Tales of endless friendship and alliegance of loyalties are always promised, but kept?

I do not want to know.

In times of fun, Games and glory they are there, when I'm needed they are there too..
But if I ever need them, will they still be there??

I don't know.

Visible I am only when required for tasks which dirties the hand or garners no worthy bounty.
Invisible I am at all other times of games and gatherings.

Needed, used and diacarded, that is what I have become for being too nice to insensitive
and stuck up fools.

On days where I'm not needed I always can sense a certain amount of disapproval from my surroundings.

My own mortal mother disdains at my doings.
MY own life I cannot control, My decisions often overwritten by her just by meer fact she's lived longer.

People say they know me well, but when the test comes all fall short and say I am too compicated and unsure of my being.

Mystery shrouds my life from strangers and curious by-standers

A stone walled sheild I seem to have, round a fortress that consumes the true me, never trusting never communicating.

The key that unlocks I keep near me.. No longer dangling to allow anyone in.

The phanthom that engulfed me is now one and true with me. Yet my fears remain and they stab at me with unchecked fury. I have accepted its fate and seem strangely comfortable to being alone and isolated.
But waiting, I am, for the one who shatters this isolating prison.

Death's once horrid stench has become a fragrent scent to me.
I await the day his gleaming blood-stained scythe and gaping, lifeless face visits me.
With reluctant resistance I fight the reapers taunt now, living to find acceptence, searching to quench my quest and lay rest to these haunting thoughts and fleeting memories...

The visible invisibilty I have become..

The Shadow wanders on..

Searching...

[]__^{MemorY Capsule}__[]
Wednesday, September 13, 2006

well, well... Im surprisingly surviving in PAD... John Berry is still picking on me.. And nearly every1 tinks im some push-over.. Cant tell anyone cause they wont be able to help.. and those that can wont. Cluster 2 is changing a PC so hopefully things get better..

Saw a rather bad accident's aftermath yesterday.. A yellow chevy aveo hit a bike somewhere near e carmarts in kaki bukit.. E bike was something like a sports model but e around e size of an RX-Z. The impact was great enuf to dislodge e car's bumper and left headlight. Considering the damage the car, and assuming the agents assurance that e car IS of good quality and not juz a re-badged Daewoo is true, the motorcyclist apparently got away lucky with juz a broken leg.. But I think e driver was scared like hell.. Cause she was crying away over the phone.. Then some passer-by goes on to repromand her somemore and the surrounding crowd was just standing around like some counsel delivering judgement... I mean, WTFBH is your problem?? Sure the Driver probably may be in the wrong but the fact that she's still around shows she KNOWS she is. She din juz hit and run.. She actually stayed to bear the consequences so just bloody leave her alone la.. Add the fact she is crying more likely out of fear and remorse, you know that the driver was just careless and din mean to cause the accident.. Whats the point of chiding her? You'll only make her feel worse.. Take WCS and she could become depressed and do the silly things Im considering... So indirectly YOU HAVE KILLED a person.. Then now what happens? She's no kid and scolding wont help in such a senerio so just leave her alone..... Damn Singaporean habits.. Makes me wish I wasnt singaporean...

brakes applied at |6:58 pm|

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