\\SiLenCenD-ShaDoW//

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The silenced shadow.....

I search for years, but i never find what I seek..
I wonder about the thoughts I have and the dreams I create...

The end result, I am, from the clash of darkness and light,
not defined by purpose nor bound by natural inclinations..

Fighting now for an identity, people scourn and jeer at my hapeless wandering...
Tempted to succumb to the bait of acceptence,
Lured by the sweet scent of easy rest I shall march on to that seemingly impossile goal I have.

Friends I have, but real are they, I'll never be able to tell.

Tales of endless friendship and alliegance of loyalties are always promised, but kept?

I do not want to know.

In times of fun, Games and glory they are there, when I'm needed they are there too..
But if I ever need them, will they still be there??

I don't know.

Visible I am only when required for tasks which dirties the hand or garners no worthy bounty.
Invisible I am at all other times of games and gatherings.

Needed, used and diacarded, that is what I have become for being too nice to insensitive
and stuck up fools.

On days where I'm not needed I always can sense a certain amount of disapproval from my surroundings.

My own mortal mother disdains at my doings.
MY own life I cannot control, My decisions often overwritten by her just by meer fact she's lived longer.

People say they know me well, but when the test comes all fall short and say I am too compicated and unsure of my being.

Mystery shrouds my life from strangers and curious by-standers

A stone walled sheild I seem to have, round a fortress that consumes the true me, never trusting never communicating.

The key that unlocks I keep near me.. No longer dangling to allow anyone in.

The phanthom that engulfed me is now one and true with me. Yet my fears remain and they stab at me with unchecked fury. I have accepted its fate and seem strangely comfortable to being alone and isolated.
But waiting, I am, for the one who shatters this isolating prison.

Death's once horrid stench has become a fragrent scent to me.
I await the day his gleaming blood-stained scythe and gaping, lifeless face visits me.
With reluctant resistance I fight the reapers taunt now, living to find acceptence, searching to quench my quest and lay rest to these haunting thoughts and fleeting memories...

The visible invisibilty I have become..

The Shadow wanders on..

Searching...

[]__^{MemorY Capsule}__[]
Monday, March 06, 2006

Went for ANOTHER mad round of DotA today.... Used a Tormented Soul.. pretty much how im feeling now, but thats beside the point... I finally finally scored a killing spree!! And a Dominating!!! Lol!! so fun! Must thank my team tho.. All super pro one...

Yes, but all good things come to end end.. and im home to this prison cell, first thing my mom did was to scream at me for coming back late.. then i said I'd bath later cause i was a lil worn out, and tt earned me another round of scolding... So typical of her.. all she ever does is SCOLD SCOLD SCOLD and SCOLD me... If my bro came home at the same time, she'd ask has he eaten and stuff, then if he says he'll bath in the mornin she'd be like, "Ok, fine by me.". like whats the deal here?? I already know how much you hate me, you trying to chase me away now? Dun worry, I already have a death wish insituted.. Push me smmore and i will hit the big Red button.... Grr... I HATE YOU! Wish I was dead... Was scorched by fever the past cpl of nights.. but hey, she din care, she only scolded me for waking up late... SHe doesnt care anymore and u noe wat? I dun care either... Just say the word and the nxt time u see my face will be on a gravestone or hospital morgue table, whichever comes first.....

brakes applied at |2:02 am|

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