\\SiLenCenD-ShaDoW//

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The silenced shadow.....

I search for years, but i never find what I seek..
I wonder about the thoughts I have and the dreams I create...

The end result, I am, from the clash of darkness and light,
not defined by purpose nor bound by natural inclinations..

Fighting now for an identity, people scourn and jeer at my hapeless wandering...
Tempted to succumb to the bait of acceptence,
Lured by the sweet scent of easy rest I shall march on to that seemingly impossile goal I have.

Friends I have, but real are they, I'll never be able to tell.

Tales of endless friendship and alliegance of loyalties are always promised, but kept?

I do not want to know.

In times of fun, Games and glory they are there, when I'm needed they are there too..
But if I ever need them, will they still be there??

I don't know.

Visible I am only when required for tasks which dirties the hand or garners no worthy bounty.
Invisible I am at all other times of games and gatherings.

Needed, used and diacarded, that is what I have become for being too nice to insensitive
and stuck up fools.

On days where I'm not needed I always can sense a certain amount of disapproval from my surroundings.

My own mortal mother disdains at my doings.
MY own life I cannot control, My decisions often overwritten by her just by meer fact she's lived longer.

People say they know me well, but when the test comes all fall short and say I am too compicated and unsure of my being.

Mystery shrouds my life from strangers and curious by-standers

A stone walled sheild I seem to have, round a fortress that consumes the true me, never trusting never communicating.

The key that unlocks I keep near me.. No longer dangling to allow anyone in.

The phanthom that engulfed me is now one and true with me. Yet my fears remain and they stab at me with unchecked fury. I have accepted its fate and seem strangely comfortable to being alone and isolated.
But waiting, I am, for the one who shatters this isolating prison.

Death's once horrid stench has become a fragrent scent to me.
I await the day his gleaming blood-stained scythe and gaping, lifeless face visits me.
With reluctant resistance I fight the reapers taunt now, living to find acceptence, searching to quench my quest and lay rest to these haunting thoughts and fleeting memories...

The visible invisibilty I have become..

The Shadow wanders on..

Searching...

[]__^{MemorY Capsule}__[]
Sunday, February 12, 2006

Yesterday, finally got a chance to ride a Merc Taxi! Its super coolz! Engine is soo quiet, ride was smooth and the car is fast! did you noe tt it has some sort of supercharger/turbo unit under the hood? So.. If u ever wanna pick on a Merc taxi to dust on a lil black-top run down, u'd beta think twice... Someone has already found tt out the hard way... was tellinig me how it was nearly impossible to catch one of them Mercs in the toyota Crown cab.. lol... its even more infuriating when a Merc Taxi steals a fare from him.. Eg. he sees a fare, moves towards it, then a Merc juz zips in front of him.. and he cant do nuts cause the Mercs faster... lol... oh well, do and make do rite??

Ppl tink i'm nuts cause i apparently adore cars soo much.. Then I ask u ah, who's crazier? Some half-wit chasing down a superstar cause he's hot spending hundreds while ur at it, or me car gazing for free??

U like some funny dude who looks "gd" and i like cars.. so there... its easy for ppl to tink of other ppl to look gd.. but not every1 can apprieciate a nice design on a car.. btw, u noe how many ppl i noe felt sori for the AE86 in the initial D movie?? let such a guy as Gay, oops! i meant Jay Choy drive.. Poor Car!! hahaz... aniwaes tts beside the point.. oh, no offence meant to Jay chou of his Fans btw...

Love cars! each one differs frm the nxt, no two cars handle the same.. Take an Evo down a strech of moutianous roads rite after u've taken a "Chevy" aveo down the same stretch and u'll understand... Same thing, Take one Viper GTS, Skyline GT-R and race them down a straight strech of Tarmac along side a typical hyundai and see the vast diff.. oh, a Viper has beaten an F16 on a quater mile drag b4 too.. so yeah.. It definately aint just another car.... =) Wanna own it! but too bad i tink oni gt Leftie versions...

Wa.. music practice till soo late! slept at 2a.m... it finished at abt 12 i tink... so exhausting! but its well worth it.. Juz sad tt i no longer feel at home in the place where i grew up.... Oh well, tts life... home is neva home till u make it and feel so....

brakes applied at |10:21 am|

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