The Shadow Wanders On....

2011-10-18T23:25:00.003+08:00

My happiness was never anyone's concern. Never once was, never will be. It will always be a case of "if you are like this, then you will be that". Never once has anyone stopped to think about my feelings. Its always do this since you love her, do that to become successful, follow me to be a successful person. "Do things MY way. Your way is perpetually flawed and wrong in every way, shape and form." I feel so shut out from my own way, who i am.. I don't know anymore. What i do is always wrong, all my feelings are negligible, all my thoughts for naught. Maybe someone should just implant a collar. Since all everyone wants is for me to follow their way.

2011-09-14T21:36:00.002+08:00

Why do you have to treat me like this? EVERY SINGLE DAMN TIME you promise to inform me where you are, you fail to. EVERY single bloody fucking time you go out with friends, you forget me. I'm no where in your mind. When I'm alone with you, you have to bring your friends along via mobile phone. I'm so lost. Seems my whole life now is to just quietly tag along and keep you happy. My happiness has long taken the back seat and now i will follow suit.

Feelings...

2011-07-10T23:30:00.002+08:00

My concern about your friends has sound reasoning. My disdain for them too. Your best friend is an adulterer. That is to say, she has zero moral values and is narrow minded. You say i dont understand, but what i do know is this: adultery is wrong, she could have always said no when he pushed for the second time. The fact she's making up excuses is a sure sign she has zilch values.

Used to trust you, but you betrayed that trust. How do i trust you after that? You just wind up fact to your liking. I already said i no longer feel special but you dont seem to care. sad.. no idea how im supposed to feel. i love you but no idea if its mutual anymore.

Archive 30-611

2011-06-30T23:30:00.002+08:00

So sick of you! Why do you always defend your boss for her nonprofessional? She only pays you till 6. For you to stay on call till 8 already very good. Still must call so late? What you mean by no choice? She can do it herself right? Why bother you? Worst still, you say you can never get me when you really need me. I think I usually do pick up the phone when you call. If i don't it's usually because the workshop is noisy and i'm preoccupied with work. I have ever turned back from city hall MRT just for you, in case you have forgotten. I feel you treat me like garbage. I'm so tired.. It isn't fair. I think I need a break...

Archive 31-511

2011-05-31T21:54:00.002+08:00

So very sad. I post, you call and challenge me. Instead of reassuring me, you chide me. So I shall take all my frustrations here. Here which you mocked. Here where you can learn so much about how I feel. Its so disappointing to think I fell in love with you for reasons which turned out to be only applicable to friends, but continued to be in love for some other funny reason. Seems those reasons turned out to be that I found solace, some comfort and love. Something I can't seem to get at home. I love the way your hair smells, I love the way you tease me, I love even the uncouthness you some times display. I think I have done well to deal with your temper so far but still feel I need to do more. I'm so insecure now.

I'm not financially stable and you have little trust in me. How am I supposed to feel now that after a 1 week trip with your friends you suddenly say its ok for me to chat with girls because you want to chat with your ex and other guys. You suddenly say you want more friends, yet refuse to intro them to me. I told you the reason, its because you have poor character judgement and I can help you filter the unwanted chaff but you don't listen. I hate cheryl for always implanting things in you that I do not like and for assisting you in your cheating. I will probably never treat her nicely anymore. Don't ever expect me to.

Archive 150511

2011-05-15T20:55:00.002+08:00

Really sad. You cheated on me. And aren't actually sorry about it. How do you think I feel? How am I supposed to feel? I couldn't lie to you and go on a holiday enjoying it like you did. I feel so hollow. What did I do wrong? I know I'm not perfect but I do try.

I'm also not stopping you from making friends. Even with guys. But I do think you could at least be honest enough with me to tell me so. What do you mean by you have to report everything to me? Which ass gave you that idea? You are not single. You are attached to ME. I'm very lost. No one to turn to either. I don't know how to open up and looking at how things are going, probably never will either. I'm really disappointed.

Archive 2404

2011-04-24T02:32:00.002+08:00

Sad. You always have problems when I have a family gathering. You don't seem to like my relatives.. Even my family for that matter. I'm really depressed. Wish you can stop leading me on like this.

Achive 031011

2011-03-10T19:31:00.003+08:00

You hear but never listen, You make me speak but hear only your own version.

You say I never care, but I've never stopped trying.

You say you love me, but actions tell me otherwise.

You say it takes two to clap but in fact, only one is needed to start an inferno.

You imply I'm always the one pouring fuel to the flames or throwing the spark to ignite it, You've always had to cool things down.

You say I never believed, but it is you who has never once, not in 3yrs, trusted anything I've ever said or done. If friends are so much more valuable to you, why have me in the first place? I've always been second fiddle to your friends, you say otherwise but prove me right time after time again.

You show care, but nothing that great best friends wouldn't provide each other with. You say, don't compare you with others but you always benchmark me with TV programs. You say you will try to consider that I am sensitive, but trample on me the very next day. I give in to you 24/7, and you probably I have to otherwise more flames will erupt, but in fact it it cause despite how you treat me, I'm rather fond of you.

When you are hungry, You have to be treated like a princess. Even when I had that accident, you remained angry till you realised I was trembling with worry, and even then remained all haughty. You insist I had my friend help, when the real worry was the money. You could not even see that. All my worries due to the accident were money related. You could not, or rather would not, even try to understand that. I wasn't denying responsibility for it, I was just trying to solve it with practical sense. The words you spoke tore through me like a red-hot blade through soft butter, from which, till this day I cannot recover.

I feel useless, hopeless & worthless. I never was a confident or rather positive but lately you've helped ensure the demons from recent past return to taunt me once more.

I showed you this blog and you just laughed. I know the way I write is a bit theatrical, no idea where I got this from but it is the way I write.

This relationship ended the moment I tried to solve the accident. I knew right there from the way you were behaving, we are not meant to be. We can be salvaged but I no longer think it is worth it. I'm now bidding my time. I will let you enjoy your birthday and the hurtful trip then I will end it for real. Hope you can understand. I will never direct you here, because you will only infer what you want and just justify yourself to the rest. How many sleepless nights have I had because of you. How many fights did you stress me with, as if I didn't already have enough from my work/school life. It is very tiring to be on the receiving end of so many unwarranted tantrums and yet have to bare the blame for each & every one AND quell the storm as well. It is tiring. You will never know because you will ensure you will never be in such a position. Enjoy your life and have a great time without me. I love you.

2010-08-29T21:54:00.001+08:00

What the hell is wrong with you? Can't I enjoy 1 dinner with my Dad? Why throw a tantrum again? Its like every other day you must throw a tantrum... Its really very tiring. Best part is that you will find a way to blame me for it! Its always me... Its sickening....

Archive AUg10

2010-08-16T01:39:00.002+08:00

Please pray for my dear friend Randy! Thanks in advance to all who do.. I really admire him to carry on the way he does.. Pray God will grant him patience, wisdom, strength and health to tide him thru this period. May he feel God's presence in his life and that God's will be done!

Archive Lo5t 1a

2010-05-08T13:25:00.002+08:00

Why is it so hard to make people understand me? All I want is to be happy! Is that so wrong? I want to return to church, you used to encourage me to. But when I finally made good on that and went back, you became angry, irritated and unreasonable. You don't know what its like to grow up around arguments and conflicts and being picked on by your own mom almost daily. Its tiring, I was so emotionally attached to you but I now am starting to see that THAT was my mistake. I'm so emotionally broken that I needed a support which you seemed to be. Alas! I was wrong! Your totally a different person.. So tough being your partner, so tiring too. But you don't seem to care. No one seems to these days. I like my birthday to be noisy with friends, but you said no money, dun think. And you didnt even seem to care about how I feel or how I would have felt. Its been a harsh but enjoyable journey but maybe its time to go our seperate ways..

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2010-04-25T16:57:00.000+08:00

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X1123

2010-04-25T14:36:00.002+08:00

Its really funny.. I just realised how emotionally broken I am.. And how attached I can get to a person. I feel so lost.. Even though I know its only temporary, but I still miss her like its forever. Whats going on? I was never like this. I was a rather cold person..

Burst 1

2010-03-02T22:40:00.001+08:00

I'm really tired out.. Cant recharge anymore.. I'm tired of everything, I really hate my job, I'm probably suffering from depression, I cant feel much love anymore, everyone is so critical of me.. =(

Archive 1010

2010-02-04T00:02:00.002+08:00

Its a new year! =) My job really sucks.. Whoever said ST Aerospace was a company of standards definitely has not worked on the ground before. If they did and rose through the ranks, they would realize that the company can also be know as cover ups and look good inc. . I hate it there! I cant learn anything! I was hired as a technician but am doing a general worker's, admin assistant's & on occasion, a runner's job. Don't get me wrong, I don't mind doing all this extra stuff. I can always find a small niggle of a speck to learn something from what I'm doing. But not at the expense of my primary job. Plus my pay is rubbish. A Macs cashier can easily earn more then me. So silly to think that an aerospace tech would earn less then a random cashier. I'm probably cheaper then the cheena ass-holes they hire to work on the commercial engines. I know my blog is always full of rants, but its the only way I seem to be able to partially express myself. I still bottle up alot of other stuff. I cant share it with anyone. Its just me against the world, that's how I feel anyway... Should get some sleep now.. Haven't had a good nights rest in ages..

Archive 20022

2009-11-21T01:05:00.002+08:00

Im so very tired of my relationship.. I love her, but sometimes I feel it a necessity to lie to her to keep her happy. She is so hard to pacify, where as I just melt when she whines. She never ever listens to me, listens to everyone else around her and apparently loves her money more then me. So what am I to do now? Im really upset, tired and frustrated. Many nights I have lost over her. I wanna give up. Im alone, tired & hungry most of the time. I cant find solace & peace at home, at work or even amongst friends. Its not that I dont trust them, it seems to be a lingering doubt in my mind that information I leak will be used as a weapon against me. I have no idea how this mentality got in my mind and how it affected me so badly. I used to be a very happy-go-lucky person. Now a days, I'm somber, quiet and withdrawn. My church is more important then her, but she will not understand that. She cannot understand, or maybe will not understand how happy I can be when I work my ass off to help the church even though I do not like them as a whole. I've taken time and effort to tone my temper, my attitude, given up much fun, friends, family and time for her. I'm sure she has too. She says she doesnt need her friends, unfortunately I do and I often cant go out and enjoy fully cause she will always find a way to make me feel guilty and at fault. I'm lost, hurt and really tired.....

Archive 0779

2009-07-07T23:33:00.002+08:00

Some small thoughts which came to mind recently.. Here for you to think about too....

Why is it that foreigners who come here, especially the clue collar workers, think that they can bring what ever rubbish culture of theirs here? Like talking loudly in the train, its probably common in china or india but this isnt there. This is a ridiculous undercover communistic community called Singapore. And the ridiculous china accent. If you think your chinese is so great, why then can't anyone else understand you?

Malaysians too. You come here and expect us to treat you as if you are on home soil. You're not. Get that in your heads. Remember, YOUR government was the one who threw Singapore out. So don't blame us now that we're better off you. And for those morons who have relatives working here. Singapore is NOT a gold mine. True to say that $1000 here is approximately $2000 there. But how much does food cost there? Transport? Daily ultilites? Then compare it to here. They should have a game show where they ask these ignorant malaysians to come work here for 3-6 months. Tell them that they'll paid around $1200 and then ask them how much do they think they can send home before they come here to work. Then let them come here. Let them source for a rental apartment and see if they are able to survive. If they spend more than $50 their planned amount, they are eleminated and go home empty handed. Winner walks away with a contract to work here and a sum of money, $2500+ should do since it would convert to almost $5000 of their money. I think its a smashing idea...

Any opinions anyone??

Lost....

2009-06-09T23:38:00.002+08:00

I wanna say I hate girls.. So much trouble they cause and the closer they are, the more they cost you.. Yet, I know I cant. 'Cause funnily enough, some of my closest friends are girls. Its not that I flirt with them or anything, its just that they are simply nicer to talk to. I just managed to barely quell an argument/fight with my girlfriend and now, my Mom or should I say the woman in the house, balantly shows me her favourtism towards my brothers. She blames ME for the wrong things my brothers do. What has it got to do with me?? If he learns to steal or take my things without permission, whos to blame? I don't teach him that. Hell, I'm hardly at home and when I am, I keep to myself, I'm rather predictable at home. Only few things I could be doing - Gridding, Surfing, enjoying Top Gear, eating or sleeping. I don't talk to them anymore. I don't feel warm when I'm at home. Feels sometimes like a hostel. No warmth. It isn't a home for me to return to anymore. More like a house. 4 walls & a roof period. No love, no warmth, no family. Thats how I feel. I feel alone, isolated and cold. But I can't bring myself to share how I feel. Been hurt too much. I know I'm supposed to just learn, remember and let go.. But I just cant. I'm lost right now... really lost... Losing my grip on things.

Archive 09091

2009-05-17T23:24:00.002+08:00

Is it really wrong for me to have a day off?? I know she loves me and all.. I love her too.. But I really really need some rest.. It'd be good for us. It just came to mind that she once said that we should balance our time between friends, family and ourselves. I agreed. And well.. obviously it hasnt worked out that way.. We nearly broke up last friday.. It was my fault. I was having a bad day.. Had my head hit by a rougue door. It broke the legs of my glasses. I was pretty upset the whole day. But she didnt get it. She thought I was just upset over nothing. I know I'm sensitive. Too sensitive in fact. But what do you expect me to do? Thats just the way I am. I don't like it too but I know that if I weren't sensitive, I wouldnt be the way I am today. Heck, I wouldnt have attracted her in the first place.

So how? What can I do? Ask for a break in the relationship? Knowing her, it woud probably lead to a break-up. But maybe its the best option for us? I don't know. I'll play this one by ear and hope things turn out okay..

Archive E0721

2009-05-06T22:01:00.002+08:00

Screw my checklist. I just keep mending it so that she wouldn check any of the bloody boxes.

I don't know anymore. I cant get breathing room, she thinks every girl I know wants to steal me away from her. I mean, hows that possible? I've no time to meet them. I've no private space and no life of my own. She still meets her friends when she wants to and drags me along whenever Im free. And when I finally DO get some down time, she makes me fel guitly. Bugging me with calls which she knows I wont hear cause the arcade is too loud, or when Im just strolling alone at my F-Zones.. Doesnt she get it? I want some time ALONE. Completely isolated and ALONE. Its just the way I am.. Im not sure if Im hhappy anymore. I realised I don't know how to share. I've a great friend I can talk to but I cant cause she's always insisting on following where ever I go. Anyways, I realised that she following doesnt make a difference. I cant share at all. No idea why. I cant seem to trust people anymore. Im rather fed0up.. but what can I do??

2009-04-22T23:57:00.002+08:00

What is going on?? I can't do anything right these days.. Im really wondering if I really do love her. Recently brought her to see a doctor, accompanied her and paid the bill for her, sent her home only to have her throw tantrum cause I didnt "pei" her to take medicine. Then today, She's saying that she should put on weight cause her boss says so, she said she should take
tonic-y stuff so she wouldn't fall sick so often. Yet she refuses to take her medicine properly as she says its bad. I told her as much and she was upset again. I upset her so easily.. What is wrong? I tout I was past this stage. I've given her my all. Its not enough. I know now I'll never be good enough for her. Im a complete failure. I've just devised a list. Once the list is fully checked then I think its time for her to get someone better. I'm given myself 1 month. If the list checks out, then well.. I shouldnt think so far ahead... ...

2009-04-22T23:45:00.002+08:00

Dear Lord,

My heart is confused, My soul yearns rest. I'm tired of not knowing what I'm doing.
Thank You Lord for blessing me with Your grace and endless Love.

Lord, take me and mould me. I do not want to be anything other then what you desire of me.
I have not been good nor obedient to you. Guide me in your wisdom and put me back into place Lord.

Thank you my saviour. Amen.

2009-04-12T00:19:00.002+08:00

Why oh why.. What am I doing now.. I don't know what she expects from me.. I've given her practically all my time. I've given up gaming, my love for being in solitude, my freedom and carefree life of meeting what few friends who met up with me to be with her. But its apparently not enough.. I slept till 2pm today. The first real long rest I've had in about a month. The past 3 weekends at least, I had to wake up early to do things. We had made plans today, so it got screwed up and of course that pissed her off. And I know she's always wanted to go to a baptism. And just nice I have a friends baptism going on at 830am later today. So I made plans to bring her down. Instead of being happy she just blew me away saying its too early. I really don't know what to do anymore.. I'm so upset right now.. I've no1 to turn to either. Partially cause I don't know how to talk to them anymore but mainly its cause of my personality..

I like to keep things inside me.. I'm a sensitive soul and I Hate being sensitive. I get hurt easily by people. Especially people closest to me. I'd assume they know me well enough to know I'm like that. Easily hurt. So it hurts even more when I realise that they don't. How do you tell someone you are sensitive? Its not easy and the person has to accept it. I'm shattered.........

2009-04-08T22:45:00.002+08:00

Wells, I'm nearing completion of my training course..Then I'm gonna go to work in ST for real.. A little worried as to how I'm gonna fare.. Nothing much has happened during the course. Met a couple of nice lecturers, a few bad ones too. Its not that they are bastards, but as that they cant teach well. Instead of learning things, I get confused! I know they are trying their best, but I cant help feel as though they are in the wrong profession. I'm now lying in bed.. Waiting for her cause I cant sleep without knowing she's snug & safe at home.. I'm dead tired, but what can I do? I miss her!

2009-03-10T23:08:00.000+08:00

Not sure if I've mentioned this... But I'm now officially with STA. Engine =)

Now on training sponsored by them.. Its not bad, Fun and intresting to learn about engines and stuff relating to planes.. I'm glad I took up this job.. I think I know what I wanna be in life.. =)

Archive 0987

2009-01-26T18:17:00.003+08:00

I'm so sick.. I need friends, guys AND girls.. But circumstance has forced me from having any. Old ones are hard to contact, new ones? Don'y know e meaning of new friends anymore. SHe doesn care. She isnt sensitive enough. It definately wont last long. Just hope I can make it last till her birthday. Let her have a happy birthday.. Then it can go downhill for all I care. I don't intend to celebrate mine this year anyway. I just want some alone quiet time. Away from everything, everyone. I need time alone, cant get it no more. Im very very sad. J, is it not right for me to feel upset? Hope to catch ya online!

2009-01-24T15:01:00.001+08:00

Lonliness Beckons.
The time that flies, all lies. I'm sick of this place, I want release. I hate this world.

2009-01-24T00:48:00.002+08:00

Seriously burnt out.. Im so very tired.. Im doing my best, but its not enough. How much more can I give?? I've already guven my 110%. As much as I do Love U, I dun feel like it'll last. Ur expecting too much from a simple stupid guy like me. I really wish everything would just fade away. They say every1 has at least 1 gr8 best friend in life.Well, its the same 'they' that dictates how things are by mere shallow experiences, so I guess its only to be expected of the poor quality shown. Tired out, physically, mentally, emotionally, spiritually. I want release. I NEED Release. How.....

Archive 0901

2009-01-16T23:46:00.003+08:00

To study or not to Study.. That is NOT the question. The question is.. CAN I study. Do I hve what it takes to study again.. Even strangers now tell me I've not realized my potential yet. I think I sorta agree.. Not being cocky, but somehow I'm confident there IS more to me then what I have now. I think I can support a GTR34 in the future, its only whether I'm disciplined enough or not only. Hopefully I can be disciplined.... =)

2009-01-15T11:52:00.002+08:00

Yay!! I can blog again!! My RPC is finally fixed! I can blog in privacy and comfor of my bed again! =)

I'm now working for Silent.. A car company which basically does whatever it can to cars/ with cars to earn money. Generally a nice bunch, save the MD & big boss.. Young spoilt brats they are, with a temper to match a volcano's fury.

I recently went to ST Aero for an interview.. And the security there think they are such big shots. One asked me which COMPANY I was going to and made a fusswhen I kept repeating ST aero. What he actually meant was which DEPARTMENT of ST Aero. He was just lucky I was tired or I would have humuliated him to no end. To those who think they know me well adn think I can't posibly do that... Think again.. I made many enemies in school thanks to my Viper's tongue. I've kept it dormant since as I feel it isnt nice to do such things to people..

Janice, we should really meet someday.. I'll intro my gf to you, she doesnt trust you cause you are a sweet young, pretty girl that I trust - she's jealous basically..;) She'll see that you're alright once you meet. She felt the same about Grace too uuntil she met her.

I still wish I was dead. Running is always the easiest thing to do in times like this. I've become untolerant to the typical singaporean, I've made loud rude but true comments about singaporeans, rammed my way out of the MRT/LRT/Monorail/Skytrain intentionally digging my shoulder into other people. I've lost my dreams, inspiration. I don't know what I want nor am going to do.. I always want to be alone but I cant. My gf needs me to be with her. I'm lost.

God, Help Me please.

2008-10-22T02:03:00.000+08:00

I'm completely lost. I've left school for good this time.. So many problems.. So little support.. I'm going to work soon.. Hopefully It'll help iron things out in my mind. So many times I wanted to break up, cause tt would mean I'd be free of relationships that I care about. That I truely treasure and value and love. Baby can't understand whats going on in my life.. She thinks its a simple matter of the harsh & hard lesson of letting go. It isnt. Its more than that.. I know she loves me and wants me to meet daily or at least be contactable.. But I cant.. I'm burnt out. I know now that I'm completely exhausted. I cant slp, cant eat properly, cant concentrate on stuff, cant control my temper anymore & I've lost reason for my drive. Don't know wh but I've just lost it.

I know how to fix it.. But I cant. Its like how a car has so much BHP but no way of using all that power. No use having 1000BHP without any means of transfering it to movement. And no use moving if there's zero control. What I need is the "traction" and "handling" and a "gearbox". I have the BHP potential. I know I do, I've even been told. I just sorta lost my grip on things..

Things at home arent helping. Did I say home?? I meant house. I've no more home. No more mom. She doesnt want to understand me. Nor do I want to allow her tt luxury anymore. I wanna cry.. But I cant.. I'm going to explode very soon.. What can I do now......

Archive 20098

2008-10-03T00:33:00.000+08:00

Thanks J for e advice!! =) Really helped me think through some of my problems.. I nd to learn how to share my problems too.. So thanks for lending me an ear when I needed it most! Haha.. Your right, F1 isnt overhyped as a sport but it was overhyped here in singapore... At least thats how I feel.. I wonder if the WRC can come and race here too.. That one I'd be more willing to watch... Its more interesting.. and the cars feel more real then F1.. But then again.. No place here for WRC.. Too much urban areas le.. and the areas that arent.. Just woulnt cut it. Been watching Top Gear ALOT lately.. Lovely show about cars and 3 cocks hosting/cocking about.. Its so fun to watch but sadly you cant watch it without SCV and Im not even sure they have the program. Gotta wonder though what those guys would think of S'pores boring car-scape.... They'd probably die of a heart attack!

2008-09-29T00:50:00.000+08:00

F1 is overhyped in Singapore. But hopefully the projected Race track does materialize. Hope too that they will have "Track/Race Days" Just like in the UK and hopefully it isnt too expensive. But then again, knowing the local Gov, they probably will charge an arm and a leg, maybe a kidney too...

Sicking country.. Hate it more and more, day by day.. All those seemingly civilised babarians.. Disgusting.

S.O.S

2008-09-22T00:46:00.000+08:00

I'm Lost. J! Please help me... Talk to me e next time u catch me online k?

I've no more home. Just a house. I've left the pits.. With New parts and repairs. But I've just realised that I should have left "luggage" too. Hopefully I'll learn how to unload. Soon.

Jesus & You

2008-08-28T11:58:00.000+08:00

A Touching Story

A minister passing through his church in the middle of the day,
Decided to pause by the altar and see who had come to pray.
Just then the back door opened, a man came down the aisle,
The minister frowned as he saw the man hadn't shaved in a while.
His shirt was kind a shabby and his coat was worn and frayed,
the man knelt, he bowed his head, Then rose and walked away.

In the days that followed, each noon time came this chap,
each time he knelt just for a moment, A lunch pail in his lap.
Well, the minister's suspicions grew, with robbery a main fear,
He decided to stop the man and ask him, "What are you doing here?"

The old man said, he worked down the road. Lunch was half an hour.
Lunchtime was his prayer time, For finding strength and power.
"I stay only moments, see, because the factory is so far away;
as I kneel here talking to the Lord, This is kind a what I say:

"I JUST CAME AGAIN TO TELL YOU, LORD, HOW HAPPY I'VE BEEN,

SINCE WE FOUND EACH OTHER'S FRIENDSHIP AND YOU TOOK AWAY MY SIN.

DON'T KNOW MUCH OF HOW TO PRAY, BUT I THINK ABOUT YOU EVERYDAY.

SO, JESUS, THIS IS JIM CHECKING IN TODAY."

The minister feeling foolish, told Jim, that was fine.
He told the man he was we lcome To come and pray just anytime.
Time to go, Jim smiled, said "Thanks." He hurried to the door.
The minister knelt at the altar, he'd never done it before.
His cold heart melted, warmed with love, and met with Jesus there.
As the tears flowed, in his heart, he repeated old Jim's prayer:

"I JUST CAME AGAIN TO TELL YOU, LORD, HOW HAPPY I'VE BEEN,
SINCE WE FOUND EACH OTHER'S FRIENDSHIP AND YOU TOOK AWAY MY SIN.
I DON'T KNOW MUCH OF HOW TO PRAY, BUT I THINK ABOUT YOU EVERYDAY.
SO, JESUS, THIS IS ME CHECKING IN TODAY"

Past noon one day, the minister noticed that old Jim hadn't come.
As more days passed without Jim, he began to worry some.
At the factory, he asked about him , learning he was ill. The hospital staff was worried,
But he'd given them a thrill. The week that Jim was with them, Brought changes in the ward. His smiles, a joy contagious. Changed people, were his reward.
The head nurse couldn't understand why Jim was so glad, when no flowers, calls or cards came, Not a visitor he had. The minister stayed by his bed,
He voiced the nurse's concern: No friends came to show they cared.
He had nowhere to turn.

Looking surprised, old Jim spoke up and with a winsome smile; "the nurse is wrong, she couldn't know, that in here all the while everyday at noon He's here, a dear friend of mine, you see, He sits right down, takes my hand, Leans over and says to me:

"I JUST CAME AGAIN TO TELL YOU, JIM, HOW HAPPY I HAVE BEEN, SINCE WE FOUND THIS FRIENDSHIP, AND I TOOK AWAY YOUR SIN. ALWAYS LOVE TO HEAR YOU PRAY, I THINK ABOUT YOU EACH DAY, AND SO JIM, THIS IS JESUS CHECKING IN TODAY."

Many people will walk in and out of your life, but only true friends will leave footprints in your heart. May God hold you in the palm of His hand and Angels watch over you.
But for those of us who are already His, He not only holds us in the palm of His hand, but has engraved our names there, and we are continually in His sight (Isaiah 49:16)

sIdotaporeans

2008-08-08T04:21:00.000+08:00

Singaporeans are becoming more of a joke to me as each day passes. They are definitely the biggest supporters of N.A.T.O..

Plus why do customers always think that they are in the right? Working in a video shop is an eye opener for me as to how plain stupid and inconsiderate Singaporeans can be. If a customer walks in these days and asks for, say Kung-Fu Panda, its perfectly understandable because it has been some time since it was in the cinema. But do you know I first heard people asking for it when it WAS still screening in the cinemas?

Today, I heard from my supervisor that a customer faxed in a "DVD wish-list", which I later saw myself, which had a note saying 'Good quality versions please'. Naturally, she picked out Code 1 DVDs which are the best quality of the lot. The customer later called and when she found out that the shop only had a handful of the list she sent, she was indignant and said 'How come you all have so few shows in stock?' Then she asked for some old titles, which the shop did not have and she rudely commented, "New shows you don't have, then old one also don't have?" Then she found out how much the DVDs cost and said "why so expensive?" She also said she worked near our main office, an obvious hint that she was not satisfied with my supervisor
s service.

I had a peek at her wishlist and it was a big fat joke. Amongst other titles, she wanted hellboy 2, hancock, mummy THREE. I realised that most of the list was made up of movies that were either still screening or had just ended their run. Does she think that a legitimate shop would sell bootleg discs? Cause, thats the only way I can think of, to own a movie that is still screening or has just ended its run. I mean, if you think it is so easy to acquire these movies, then do it yourself. Call the producers for a copy. Then there is the issue of cheap and best quality. She isn't the only one. Lots of Singaporeans want the best quality videos available but yet want it to have the lowest possible price as well. Isn't there a saying like " You pay for what you get."?? Use your miniscule brain.. Just try to think for once, it isn't all that hard to actually use your brain properly. This partiular customer is so stupid, stuck-up. Yet she IS the basic model of your average singaporean customer, who always wants something that is new and of great quality to be cheap. Does it make much sense?? I don't think so...

2008-08-03T00:26:00.000+08:00

I'm so tired..

So sick.

Need Help Bad.

Help!

Before I go Loco.Soon.

2008-07-17T00:22:00.000+08:00

How do you know what you want in life? I'm really confused now, lost in my thoughts. Been skipping school. Not good. My teacher seems to think I'm on good terms with my mom.. If only she knew, then perhaps she wouldn't patronize me.

Movie Date!

2008-07-13T00:03:00.000+08:00

I'm home at last! Went to watch Hancock and Hell boy 2 today at Suntec.. Was a movie marathon type of thing. Paid good money for it but it was worth it! Hancock was great! And Hell boy 2 was just as interesting. Both shows had their own brand of humour worked into them but both can be understood easily. =) So if you're wondering about what show to watch and have not watched either, I'd definitely recommend either one.

2008-07-06T00:38:00.000+08:00

Well, I'm really supposed to be asleep rite now.... But just cant.. It really bothers me more and more... Singaporeans...We claim to be educated, civilised, friendly, maybe even polite... But just how true is it?? Where DO all these survey results come from? Do the surveyors hang around raffles place or cityhall or maybe even orchard? Then approach 'random' select people, then use their honest replies?(IF the ans are truely honest.. big if..) Oh, come on, how many times have you paused to think whilst ans a survey? The moment you pause, the results are no longer accurate. I mean, maybe its cause we're not taught how to read pictures and signs and REAL BASIC COURTESY. Or maybe we're just to good to just be a little sensitive to people's needs. Just think what does the word "closing time" mean? Never heard of it?? You know, at SHOPS.. At which people work and actually have a HOME to RETURN to... You jack-asses arent the only ones with homes to return to. I wonder how thick can a person be knock on a shops shutters at 10pm when the shop closes at 930? Do you think closing a shop is so simple? There are plenty many things to do before the staff can go home for a hard-earned rest. And you wonder why Singapore service staff can be so rude. Did you ever thank a sales person for a service she/he renders to you? Even if she fails to complete it for whatever reason it maybe? I received a compliment today from a customer, he told me supervisor and my supervisor in turn told me. And I have absolutely no words for the feeling and encouragement it brings. So think about it.. Why service staff can't be bothered with you the next time you visit a shop..

2008-06-07T00:56:00.000+08:00

Well, I started class in april... Im now studying Chemical Technologies in Simei ITE. Was a very bad start actually..... I kept on coming late and stuff... haha.. But, nvm.. Found the right gear to use now and I'm gonna take my class "pure science girl" down! Eventually anyway.... haha.. Must shift up gears ma... cant start off a car on a high gear can I? Talking about cars....

I FINALLY GOT MY BLASTED LICENSE!!!!!!!!! WAHAHAHA!!
The streets of Singapore are no longer safe!! Hehe....

It was quite stressful.. had the same feeling as i had when taking the test the first time.. The instructor.. tester rather.. was quite a funny fella.. He wanted to on the cars stereo and asked me how. Haha.. I've driven that car for nearly a year but have NEVER EVER used the stereo.. He instructed me around the circuit while trying to get the stereo to work.. He didnt even have his "file of the elusive license" on his lap. In fact I didnt see that file appear at all while in the circuit. It was only near the end of the test that he took the file out. I was quite worried I would futz up my parking and crank course like the last time. But luckily, I didnt. In fact, he later said I was quite smooth and a good driver. He then took me out on the roads around the test centre. I was worried cause I tend to not check my blind spots at corners and my rear view mirror at junctions. It was fairly busy and we acualy hit a traffic jam. He made me take a sharp left at a yellow box near e test center and we headed back..

I thought i had failed! He didnt test my U-turn and E-brake and I was out on the streets for less then 10 minutes! I was quite depressed when I reutrned to the center.

At his 'office', he asked me how I felt.. I could only mutter tt I was stressed! and he said, "huh? Back here still stressed...... You passed!" "Can relax! You have no problems driving, good and smooth. You passed."

I was so elated!! I thanked him and quickly went off to finish the license application process.
So now... Im just waiting for the plastic license! yay!!!

Archive 0805

2008-05-21T00:25:00.000+08:00

Why is having a gf so complex? Why cant all love be like God's? Simple and unconditional.
Why can't I be more like Jesus? He's fantastic. He's my idol!!! =D

I'm so far from him these days. Not that there's ever a good reason for distancing yourself from him. Exams? Please.. Study so hard till u drop for wat? Cant spare God that precious few hours? For all you know he'll give you so much peace of mind you'll cram even more info more efficiently. For me? I said no time. Bad, bad excuse. No such thing as no time. Why cant spare a few hours for him when you can spend hours on other stuff like friends, games and just plain chilling? I need to be more grounded i guess..

2007-12-24T00:56:00.000+08:00

Im sick. Of life.
I'm starting to falter in my steps. I wanna rest. Maybe just falling would be the best? Off this balancing beam of the creasts and abyss.

Im tired. Of everything.
Of the pressure, the crumbling world. Its traslucent facade. Its shattering supports. The false sense of security. The judgemental charity. Bridges that support only which it has use for. The same bridge that will love you when your in the green and discard you when your in the red.
Mounting pressure without a BOV. In me.

Why me... Why do I do thing the way i do?

Remember me? Don't bother. Shadows need not be remembered. Happiness in lonliness, sadness in joy. Murdering anger and seething thoughts. I've enough.

2007-12-09T00:40:00.000+08:00

Well, even more things to think about.

WHY THE HELL DO SOME BOSSES, NO MATTER WHAT SIZE (singlish here with no pun intended) THEY ARE THINK THAT THEY CAN BE UNREASONABLE, RUDE AND ARE SO DARN FULL OF THEMSELVES?

You bosses think respect is gotten by simply being in your current position? So wrong.
The type of respect I give such bosses is merely an unwilling courtesy, just enough to keep me from getting burned by the power that they unfortunately have been given with. Get this in your mind. You were PLACED there just because you have a sheet of paper that only proves you can study and in NSF's cases, luck. In the army, NSFs holding higher appointment are just lucky they are chosen, the people that choose don't know how well you work. They just use a closed-up and ridiculous system of looking at paper qualifications. Many workplaces are still like that i believe. So Bosses that are PLACED in their positions shouldn't be so damn stuck up and arrogant and think that only they are right and have the power to do what ever they can to their "minions".

As for those that actually managed to climb up the food-chain to get to where you are, kudos to you! But REMEMBER how you got there.

2007-12-09T00:24:00.000+08:00

To all teenage & student netizens! AVOID WORKING FOR XENITH pte ltd.

There is a "supervisor" there that is unreasonably arrogant, unprofessional, fickel minded, fond of last minute termination of employment, plans poorly and can extremely rude! Avoid at all cost!

2007-08-12T01:32:00.000+08:00

Well.. here's a few things for you to ponder over...

You know how older people love to say they've eaten more salt then we have rice?? And so they are more knowledgeable, mature and thus worth to listen to? Well, now lets ask some of them... What use is bragging about eating all that salt when you never digested much of the salt?? What use is eating alot when nothing is absorbed??

And here in sunny, 'well-educated' Singapore... It is seemingly understandable to me that if you are not educated, or 'properly educated' (e.g. A level cert, certain poly certs from specific pols or anything higher in a typical local thinking) that you would not understand simple english and possibly lack basic common sense.. But what do I see at bedok interchange or the MRT stations? I think the govt can save a fair bit the next time they build or renovate a bus interchange by forgetting about those metal railings which are SUPPOSED to be used as Queues and SMRT can save by forgetting about placing all those signs that say "keep left". You study so hard, walk around with you nose in the air and cant understand simple things like these?? Weak.

2007-07-01T01:21:00.000+08:00

Last week was really bad for me.. Had to wear long 4 into the blistering hot depot! "For your protection.." I quote.. BUT, we CAN go running inside the depot in a SINGLET, SHORTS and shoes. Makes one wonder which planet of common sense they hail from. Then again, army DOES diminish most ppl of their common sense. I had a fever but no one who knew, except my baby, seemed to care. My mom definately didnt. Heck, cant really bother anymore... Few actually can bother with my presence anymore. I know church doesnt. I know my mom doesnt. Happily, I know my dad does give a damn about what i do and what happens..

I just returned from an NDP preview!! =D It wad quite nice.. Wont give spoilers though.. But, if U're going and hate seriously loud noises, than I suggest u bring ear plugs for this years F16 fly-by. hahaha.. They oso used Apaches for this years flag escort. 4 of them.. 2 with and 2 without the Longbow system. haha.. How to tell?? I dunno... haha.. ownself go figure.....

2007-06-25T23:29:00.000+08:00

Thank you all for making me feel so 'welcomed' in church

Thanks for making Fiona feel oh-so wonderfully at home too

Thanks for lying and showing false concern

Thanks to you for destroying the views I have had on church teens

Thanks for being the good friends I have hoped for

Thanks for teaching me how to survive alone

Thanks for assuming you know me well

Thanks for making me feel wanted

THANKS GUYS!! YOU'RE TOO GOOD TO BE TRUE..

Thanks for making me feel useful

Thanks for the moments I shared with you

Thanks for letting me know I'm not needed by you anymore

Thanks too for teaching me how to survive alone when I needed someone

Thanks for TRYING to allow me to wanna trust you

THANKS MEI!! REALLY, THANK YOU!!

sacarsm rules.

Don't need to say sorry guys. You probably wont mean it anyway.

Its okay.. I'm so used to such crap. =)

2007-06-24T00:34:00.000+08:00

Went out with my babe today... Attempted to surprise her with a fireworks display near the Merlion. haha.. The surprise went flat but she still enjoyed it all the same. =D

For all those firework lovers, so sorry I didnt tell you guys.. haha.. It was information i acquired from my formation. And I decided I'd bring only her. haha..

Im really saddened to learn tt Jo doesnt think of the friendship we have the way i do. I tought of her as a little sister I could chat with. looks like it was just plain wishful thinking on my part. Its ok.. Not much feelings left for her to dessicate anyway, nor tt she could hurt me anyway. Luckily, my feelings have grown more for my baby.. And my baby is the one tt really affects me greatly.. My baby today finally allowed me to understand why hugs are so... so... special. A real sincere hug. Not just given for fun or as a formality or wadeva u wanna call it. A hug given for what its worth. It feels so special to be hugged by someone who loves you. I was kinda surprised but was so touched.. I totally loved the hug! Well... I gotta go now! God Bless everyone!!

2007-06-12T22:46:00.000+08:00

A fair bit has happened to me since my last visit here... Argued wit a damned gay who insisted he had a right of way on a FOOT path. Which part of foot path or pesdestrian WALKWAY is so hard to understand?? Im sure the word walk means smthing. I didnt argue much tho.. Decided it was an insult to myself even bother wantin to argue with a piece of dirt like tt. Then, I guess Im really in love now... going crazy over her! haha.. I never knew love was so fun and engaging. Well, its a kinda awkward relationship and all.. but still.. I hope it'll all work out. Anyway, I've decided tt she'll be my last girlfriend. Not gonna explain this tho. well.. Im tired le.. so I gtg slp le... peace out!

2007-05-24T23:02:00.000+08:00

Whee!!!! When was the last time I was here?? haha.. No Idea!! But I finally found some time to update this 'archive'. Im doing quite well in PAD these days, now a half-clerk. haha.. Clerk work has its perks but it can get a littleboring and overly stressful at times. Quite tough at times when people make jokes that mean to say u are slacking when u are stressed beyond all words.. Well.. Doing duty again 2molo.. so i guess I gotta slp now... Nitex!

2007-04-11T16:13:00.000+08:00

Having sleepless nites these days... But at the same time, the sweetest of dreams! Its wierd.. Im kept awake by a mixture of events I suppose, but I definately know who's responsible for the dreams... Only able to sleep when I exhausted completely.. I don;t know if it is a good thing but I know that my life has entered a new chapter.. one which Im not abt to let go any time soon.. Hopefully It'll grow more and in the way I hope too.. =D

2007-04-09T00:57:00.000+08:00

Whee!!! Went out with my new friend! So much fun to be with.. Im so so over the top about her and Im definately fond of her.. I found that out accidentally tho.. lol.. Well, I guess she knows about that now, Im not exactly the most subtle guy around.. And I sure don't know how to be soft in issues like this one.. Nvm, I can feel God guiding me. So I will continue to let him to. Hope it turns out to be what I dream it to be....

2007-03-29T21:17:00.000+08:00

Went out on wednesday, I have never ever been so excited going out with friends my ENTIRE life!!! No idea also, stayed out till 12a.m. But wasnt tired out till I reached my block. Usually, I would convince myself to go out, but this time I was so excited I actually left the house early. haha.. I must be going mad. Why was I so excited? I have absoloutely no freakin idea. Maybe cause it was meeting a new friend. One which Im apparently quite fond of. Lol, anyhows that day a one I needed. =) Hope we can go out again soon!

2007-03-26T22:14:00.000+08:00

CONGRATS TO JANICE!!!!!

She topped her class for physics.

And somehow, I was expecting her to tell me to work hard too.. and you know what?? She did... haha.. Anyways, morale is taking a nose dive. Im getting sick of the camp, even though its only a year left. Esp cause everytime my sargeant comes back after a long period of time, he seems to come out with some new way to amuse himself at our expense. But at least now, Cpt Jason knows who to look out for and no doubt he's strict, but hey, tts the army.. Discipline is base block for an army formation. So yeah, Ill step up to the challenge and attempt to make my ESHes inspection ready 24/7. Hope I can get the CFC by national day!

2007-03-24T22:10:00.000+08:00

Im actually gotten used to my camp.. Amazing, cause I never tout I'd get use to the place.. Im trying my best to excel there. Myuabe I can get promoted to Coporal First Class.. Its worth an extra $40 every month I think.. Quite a bit for an NSF. Thats my goal for my remaining year of my NSF life.. hope I can get promoted or else take away smthing I can use outside..

2007-03-19T21:27:00.000+08:00

Tired! So shagged out, was officially the LAST one out of the depot today. Had every1 waiting for me today, lol. Under normal circumstances, I would've run to return the keys I was holding, but since It was the big mouthed idiot, Stevie, who made the gesture to hurry up, I couldnt be bothered. Anyways, my health hasnt been all that good these days. And tomorrow will have plenty of time to run. I was kidding with the Sargeant about how we were 'warming up' for 2molos live run or walk, in my case.He's a nice, soft spoken guy but I had a bad impression of him initially cause of the way he was always using his authorative tone on the sentries and people outside. Goes to show that one whould never judge another by first impressions..

2007-03-18T23:20:00.000+08:00

Whee!!! My printer can photocopy!! I noe its probably well known to many that printers these days can do it, but heck! Im still plenty happy to discover mine can.. Watch 300 yesterday with my friend. E story was GREAT!!! The CGs, action scenes... All great! It was bloody for sure, but a good show nonetheless.. Cant go out next weekend tho.. =( Got to return to camp for work.. so stupid.. I really hate the army.. Wanna faster ORD. Well, gtg sleep now! take care!!

2007-03-15T21:42:00.000+08:00

Well, almost 1yr in army... Really very tired... I actually meant e original version of this post for yesterday.. Unfortunately unforseen circumstances forced me to not post it. Its really funny, I was juz commenting about how tired I was. I thought I posted the entry, so when Jan replied my sms reminding me not to tire out, I didnt much surprised as i assumed she read the entry. Today, I just realised I didnt post it and so she couldnt have known how I was feeling. So now, I am rather amused. Its just like God is using her to talk to me. I always knew she was special, now I know just how much! Anyways, told Ant I'd call her but decided not to. Wouldnt have had anything to talk about anyway. Feeling even more distanced from the youth. I know they are trying, but I think they should just give up. Its pointless.. Don't think I will treat them e same as before. Already broke e promise of not moving along. Nvm.. I will still look for another church.

2007-02-25T22:06:00.000+08:00

Yay!! New Computer... Not exactly top quality, but still good.. Processor is a Pentuim C2D.. haha.. Carbon here I come!! With it is a nice wide screen LCD monitor and a relice from the WCG which were held here.. Called the Everglide, it is super nice to use with CS but horrible for everything else in my opinion.. Then I finished constructing my Blu Duel!! Fully painted too! =D I was lazy to mix so I just ended up using the colours which were somewhat similar to the original.. Also met a new friend recently, a really cute girl who was from my Sec sch and is my age.. =) So fun!! Unfortunately for me, cant say the same for certain old friends.. Dont even feel like friends anymore..... Oh wells, tts life I guess.... Peace Out!! =)

2007-02-23T23:45:00.000+08:00

Juz home from range!! =D So tired....... But at least I wont have to do it anymore.. Well, not at Tekong anyway... I had fun anyway, and I was firing blind at night!! So fun!! Not many ppl can claim tt but now I can!! hahahaha... Okay, not so funny to u readers but it is to me! =) Well, Im lazy to blog properly, so Im off to sleep!! NItez and God Bless!!

2007-02-17T00:16:00.000+08:00

Have seriously been not updating my blogs.... Sorry to all of you who actually wanna read...
Well, been pretty busy with life, pondering over all sorts of stuff.. Im actually amazed at some of the stuff I can think about.. Its just plain wrong for some of the issues.. Those things shouldnt even be a reason for me to worry.. I've decided to not pursue the Mechatronics again.. So now Im left with the Foodie course and Science in ITE... I actually came back from a dinner with friends not too long ago.. Supposed to be fun, SUPPOSED being the operative term.. I felt so sick. So alone. I dont belong in this youth group.. I may have grown up with them, but I think I no longer fit in... So nvm, Ill just find my way alone... Ill have GOD so I shouldnt be so bad.. I know I also have a couple of special friends that I know will support me and pick me up when I fall, so yeap.. No more trying to fit in.. Well, Im too lazy to think anymore, so Ill just stop here.. I promise to be more regular for my regulars!! God Bless every1!

2007-02-08T23:51:00.000+08:00

Whao... Have not been posting for a really Long time... been busy with my camp's "sensitive" exercise.. But I now know why I love to be kept busy in camp.. It is when I am alone and totally bored that I think the most... Not all the thoughts are bad, but they all change the way I think of people, apparent friends and foes.. I've not learnt to trust people much still, hence the way I keep problems to myself... Well, hope I find a good solution soon.. Gonna sleep now.. Nitex!

2007-01-22T22:41:00.000+08:00

Have not been posting recently, its not really convenient without the PC.. I have to borrow my bro's laptop if i wanna do anything computer related.. Well, 1st I must thank God for his protection over me the last few days, was in a cab the other day and almost home when we saw a sleeply driver, he was so drowsy that he actually mounted the kerb along the bedok North filter lane.. luckily, we passed without any incident, then later, I stopped the cab just outside a bus stop at a red light, as i opened the door, some stupid motorcyclist HAD to cut into the bus lane. I hit the bike with the door but luckily nothing happened... Today, I saw an eagle! up close and well, not personal but close enough as i would like to to a wild eagle.. It was white and sea grey in colour and it was an awesome sight, it was actually stuck between the fence and some shrubs, but when the contractor approached the fence, the bird just charged thru the shurbs and flew off.. But Im glad I saw it, a little something God rewards me with to keep my spirits up.. Well, to all who read this, I am requesting a prayer from all christians... Pls pray for a member in my church, just pray for God's wisdom and peace to be with the family.. they are going thru a rough time and I think they could do with the prayer support.. You may not know them and they may never know what you did, but the Lord does reward that which iss done in secret. And since the family is christian, they are, technically speaking, your brothers and sisters in christ.. so yea.. hope you will pray along with me too... Thanks!!

2007-01-15T22:13:00.000+08:00

FCBC rocks!! Literally!! I love the place! But its always easy to fall in love with new things.. So Ill go more and see for myself how the people are really like.. Im fairly comfortable there as it is now.. Strange, considering I usually very long to warm up to a location.. Usually, Im really uneasy, unable to concentrate well on things and look for a chance to escape.. But I didnt feel that way this time.. I totally enjoyed the worship, really a fresh new experience for me.. A real eye-opener too.. I was apart from Jol and her bro for most of the time I spent there. But I was okay.. Was actually waiting for her after the whole thing, but she thought I left so she left and left me alone there.. haha... oh wells, so used to things like this happening to me.. But the msg spoke to me in a really deep way.. I meant alot.. So glad I made the effort to go and so glad Jol invited me.. Maybe Ill go there for good.. Or maybe Ill just go to both churchs.. =) Ill see how things go...

2007-01-13T22:33:00.000+08:00

FCBC here I come!!!

Im so excited.. Yet, Im so nervous! Its crazy! Well, Ill just go and hope everything turns out the way God wants it to.. Im finally meeting Jol... Haha.. Maybe tts why Im nervous.. Oh heck.. Worry for what.. Go Go, Die Die lor.. Right? haha...

And! PRESENTING!! Some Fresh new vehicle designs! Im too lazy to label them though.. haha.. Enjoy!

2007-01-09T22:18:00.000+08:00

Another day has passed... Well, Im confirmed visiting FCBC this sunday.. Im kinda nervous at meeting Jol yet excited about going to the church.. Its definately going to be noiser.. But Im hoping for a more God-filled experience.. Thats what I want.. Probably Ill attend their service for a while to come.. See if I like it there better then BEFC...

2007-01-07T22:42:00.000+08:00

Silence is so golden these days... Assumption can kill.. Yet I breed it with the silence that surrounds.. Mystery, suspense.. Shadows of doubt.. The light that shines, is it real? What does it shine for? Why does it bother to attempt to pierce the shrouds that hide the secrets within.. Why does he bother about me.. Im not worthy of him.. Retreating into the abyess of the blinding dark.. Yet pulled into the rays of gold that line the fluffy clouds.. Thoughts shall flow freely.. The way will be found.

2007-01-07T00:56:00.000+08:00

The New Year is here! Nothing exciting about it for me though.. another year gonna be wasted in the army, got 2 turnouts in 4 duties.. its not funny when your duties are on alternate days... Its irritating and saps our rest time.. not that the bos or doos care.. All they know is - 'hey! Im bored.. Let test the guards!!' Maybe Ill go get an excuse soon.. Not many people in the camp understand asthma.. And so many idiots fake it so everyone thinks asthma is harmless... Ill find a way to get at them.. Just they wait... Im so tired of being patronized.. Every1 thinks Im a push-over and easy to understand.. You think you know me by reading this blog? heh. Dream on. Im going to my other blog now! Gonna see if it needs any maintainence to be done...Happy new year everyone!

2006-12-28T22:55:00.000+08:00

Well.. here goes another horrible week of stay-in duties.. Its okay but extremely tiring and I dont have a proper prowling partner.. I really want to go get excuse liao... excuse stay-in.. then no need to worry about duty anymore.. Then I'll have one less worry to burdern me...

Whats happened... Im so disappointed with the way things have shaped up.. barely a year and we've drifted... Sad....

2006-12-26T22:17:00.000+08:00

Lets just stop this facade of friendship shall we?? Its getting nowhere.. And it wont ever get anywhere anymore.. I gave you one chance and you've showed me that you cant do it.. So lets just forget it... I have no want for a friend such as you.. Take your show and whatever you want and get the hell away from me.. Be normal friends? Fine. Nothing more, maybe less.. That is the reward you have reaped. Enjoy.

2006-12-25T00:53:00.000+08:00

MERRY CHRISTMAS EVERYONE!!

May GOD's blessings shower upon the world!!!

2006-12-21T17:47:00.000+08:00

Well... My PC is down.. Lightning got the better of my power supply.. Hehe.. Im using my brother's Laptop now..

Well, thanks to the torrent of rain, the access road to my ESHs was flooded to around knee level. I was crazy enough to go in to do work with another guy during a CAT 1 storm the day before, Didn't have to walk in but the waves the 5 ton made was proof enough of how deep the water level was.. Later when I wanted to leave the depot, we couldnt hail a vehicle and no one answered the coms.. So no choice, we walked. We had already forgotten about the flood though.. So we walked and when we saw the road..... Oh boy...... "shit!" was our immediate reaction.. We attempted to walk through the middle of the road, 'test' our combat boots waterproof claims... But it was too deep, we werent even 1/4 way through when we realised that we couldnt walk through, not unless we wanted our pants, socks and feet to be soaked. We ended up clinging to the fence to walk through, but even then, the water level was higher then our boots, so water slipped in anyway.. We gave up trying to keep our feet dry and just walked through...

Went for my MA yesterday afternoon and on the way back, I helped a Sec 3 girl get off the bus yesterday, some stupid indian bloke was leaning on the buzzer closest to her and the bus was so crowded that she couldnt reach any of the other buzzers.. Funnily, everyone else just seemed to ignore her, even tho it was obvious she was panicing. So juz reached over my head and pressed the bell for her... She didnt see me do it so don't anyone say I was trying to get her attention... I just thought that it was funny, that people often like to say indians are thick skinned and here this guy couldnt feel the poor girls fingers trying to press the buzzer.. So are they thick skinned?? hehe.. U do the math... wells, I gtg now.. Take care!! Stay happy you!! God bless!

2006-12-14T23:31:00.000+08:00

Think about this..

How does one classify uniqueness?

When does maturity become a barrier and immaturity a blessing??

How can one judge a person's intelligence and ability to work by a sheet of paper??

Does being rich make you "big"?

When a friend has become nothing more then a playmate, is that still friendship???

Does being extraordinary have anything to do with popularity??

How do you know a person by watching a person?

How can the brass know what works in praticality when all they do is theory?

Think about it.....

2006-12-13T21:12:00.000+08:00

Why act like you know me when you don't? I won't ever let you know me! One chance is all I will give.. Want another?? Earn it. How? I don't know, nor do I care.. Don't think you know my full situation just because Im telling you what it is. You're not me. Get it straight.

2006-12-11T22:02:00.000+08:00

Wells.. here's a tip from me to who-ever wants to read...

DO NOT, and I mean DO NOT DRINK IF YOU HAVE CAMP THE NEXT DAY!!!

Haha.. I learnt that lesson the hard way. I drank just that wee bit too much alcohol and went to camp today with a splitting headache and Z E R O concentration and energy to work.. Anyway, managed to make it thru with work done.. Wells, somewhat done anyways.. haha!! I hope Jon liked the GDB.. Alot of running thoughts in my head... I know that my Jie isnt what I know her to be anymore.. And I know that my reasons for the way my life is now is more then words can express.. Its probably sounds simple and silly to ppl cause of the limitations of my vocab and the fact that Im not the most expressive person around. So be it. I will lock it all away and let it destroy me if it can..

2006-12-10T00:56:00.000+08:00

HAPPY BIRTHDAY JONATHAN!!!

Going to his Dinner treat 2molo.. I wonder how he'll react when he sees the present I did for him.. A scale model GDB.. Black with stock gold rims, no spoiler, I juz cant stand the GDB's spoiler. Its so ugly.. But overall the car still looks quite classy.. Just hope he doesnt mind the messed up-window paint job . Now Im gonna go and wrap up the darn thing.. I really hope he likes it, cause I absoloutely hate wrapping things up.. So if, and IF u receive a wrapped gift from me, appreciate it.

2006-12-07T21:15:00.000+08:00

Im so confused... Do u want it or not.. Really... Im confused by your actions and your words to me.. One of which says u do.. Yet the other tells me not. So which is it? Which is the truth in your heart? Im getting tired of all this.. I hate it. I've grown to be really indifferent about the youth.. I've not felt apart of them since I started to return to church when I was much younger. It only got worse when I really started to think.. Didnt help that I can observe people well enough for the current situation.. If they read this, then so be it. Isolate me more.. I dun care.. Im getting so used to it. Somehow I've already locked myself up in a fortress, the moat filled and drawbridge withdrawn.. So I keep my problems within me. Like hell Im gonna share them now.. Not till I find what I am looking for..

2006-12-03T18:40:00.000+08:00

well.. Its odd.. My parents always scold me for my hp bills.. yet.. it is they who cause it.. All those split minute calls.. I was surprised to see that my sms cost was lower then my calling cost, well, actually I wasnt that much surprised as I was amused once I started to think how could my bill be like that..

Im getting more and more broken each passing day.. Every1 still thinks im a normal quiet teenager who's gone nuts over cars.. I think this post should not be continued here.. Will shift all my thoughts to The eye of the Storm.

2006-12-03T01:07:00.000+08:00

AiDs cases stil being outcasted eh? Kinda funny that the world should outcast that which it produced in the first place.. Anyways, played poorly for worship today.. I juz couldnt get myself together and let God take control...

They still take it that Im moving along.. LoL.. Get real.. Im not that dense to know that u know that I know that u know that Im not moving along.. Wanna have the real reason?? Juz ask.. I'll tell. Juz dun expect to have an easy time getting the ans tho..

2006-12-01T22:06:00.000+08:00

okok.. Im back.. But.. still dunno what to write here.. I guess I've grown to dislike the SAF even more.. They wan us to preserve the image they have.. But honestly, what image do they have in the first place..
They do realise that even if they force us to keep all their nonsense rules, WE are still INSIDE the army only for a while afterwhich it will be what we TELL people thatmakes their image.. But yeah.. I really don't want to take out an excuse from the prowling, but I think my life is worth more then the money they pay us.. Gotta go back on Monday.. Its becoming quite a drag.. I hope I collapse from exhaustion soon.. Or better yet juz die.. I know I should really treasure this life.. And I know God has spoken to me about this in a very magnificent and powerful way.. But smhow... I haven't got the will... Doesnt matter.. it really doesnt.. people will not notice.. To them Im just a happy guy who's got 0 problems.. I beleive that one day, smone will be able to see my straight in my eye.. Shatter my cloak of happiness and reveal the me inside... I only hope it wont be too late...

2006-12-01T19:12:00.000+08:00

Wellz... 1st day out from my duty week.. Alot of things to settle so I'll start with the simplest one first.. This quiz Gracia wants me to do.. haha..

So, here goes!

Quiz Starts:
Can you name ELEVEN people you can think of right on the top of your head? Dont read the questions underneath until you write the names of all 11 people.

1. Janice
2. Anthea
3.Artist
4.Grace
5. Randy
6. Shi Ting
7. Jie
8. Gracia
9.Fairul
10.Helen
11. Matthias

HOW DID YOU MEET 10?
Long Long Story.... Bad attitude and Good luck mostly...

WHAT WOULD YOU DO IF YOU HAD NEVER MET 6?
Hm... If din meet, means no couz means no one to disturb and I'd be really bored during reunions..

WHAT WOULD YOU DO IF 2 AND 6 DATED?
Not bad idea... Both are chio.. =P

HAVE YOU EVER SEEN 4 CRY?
Nope...

DO YOU THINK 1 IS PREETY?
Yup!! She sure is! hehe..

TELL ME SOMETHING ABOUT 11.
There's nothing to be said. Cept, maybe he's my Blur bro..

HOW DO YOU KNOW 8?
Erm... The pest that I stepped on and now cant shake off?? Na.. She's a friend I met in church.

WOULD YOU EVER GO ON A DATE WITH 5?
Date Randy?? Dun think so... Go and hang out? Definately..

WHAT IS 7'S FAVOURITE COLOUR?
uh-oh.. I think its pink.. At least I hope I think correctly.. Sorry Jie!! Di Di cant remember!!!

WHAT WOULD YOU DO IF 2 CONFESSED HE LIKE YOU?
You mean She.. WELLZ!!! No comment here...

FACTS ABOUT 9.
My compadre since Sec sch..

WHO IS 6 GOING OUT WITH?
Some guy who keeps on calling her... No idea abt the name..

WHO IS 5 TO YOU?
My Army mate and Car shi-fu!!

WOULD YOU EVER LIVE WITH 11?
I AM living with him...

IS 2 SINGLE?
No Idea.. Dun really care either..

HOW MUCH DOES 3 MEANS TO YOU?
Nothing much yet.. OH WAIT!!! A GEISHA!!!! haha..

WHAT DO YOU THINK ABOUT 1?
The sweetest and most caring girl I've NOT met in person so far..

WHATS THE BEST THING ABOUT 8?
Erm.. Nothing?? hehe..

WHAT DO YOU DISLIKE ABOUT 10?
Nothing... 10's got a special place in my life...

ask the 11 people to do this quiz.

Alright... Thats one thing down.. Im supposed to updated this blog.. No idea where to start though.. Pretty fun week..

I got another go with the forklift.. A more powerful one this time.. Its harder to handle on the open roads, more then what I imagined anyway.. A small nudge at the steering wheel and the whole thing turns rather violently.. Managed to get the hang of things after awhile though.. Then I did movement! Actually movement!! No specs this time.. Juz Another guy, 2 forklift drivers and me. We finished the work without too much trouble.. hrm.. Oh ya.. Then had a really bad scare thanks to Yi Bin.. I was looking for a particular stockcard but I couldnt find it, then I dunno why I decided to search for the ammo to see if it was still in my ESH.. Guess what?? It wasnt. Then when I tried to trace the ammo, I couldnt find anything related to it.. I was so scared that the things had juz gone missing.. its 7 yrs per round of ammo and I 'lost' 25rds.. I asked Yi Bin and that idiot told me that he din noe anything abt it and he'll try to help me solve the next day.. so bo bian.. Had a restless night.. Then the next day..The moment I showed him the item's ID no. he casually told me "Oh, this lot?? Its gone up to AME for repairs. I moved it." I was ticked but was so relived that I din really bother to kill him.. Oh crap.. I gtg 1st.. be back sm other time to finish the update.. Chows peops..

FOR THE MOTHERLAND!!!!!

2006-11-21T21:49:00.000+08:00

Its such a nice day for me at work today... Intersting and FINALLY got to learn new and USEFUL stuff.. Learnt how to drive a tonner and a forklift.. and how to fork stuff too..
hehe.. My friend was kidding that forklifting skill has lvls which start from lvl 1 all the way till lvl 99.. And that Im alrady lvl 10.. haha.. So fun to drive a forklift, but of course, must be careful and all... IF it flips.... lets juz say I'll be dead so quick, my head wont even have the chance to spin.. And a 5 ton isnt really hard to handle at all.. I know.. and its really REALLY powerful.. Wells, hope that 2molo I get to join the movement team again!

2006-11-19T19:08:00.000+08:00

To those who think they know me. DONT MAKE THAT MISTAKE OF THINKING YOU KNOW ME INSIDE OUT. Make the mistake my parents have and you'll discover that I'll no longer open any more chances for you to know me better.

2006-11-18T21:51:00.000+08:00

Went to the Singapore Motorshow today...

Finally, after long long long last, saw the Ferrari 599 GTB.. Its a really sleek machine.
Powerful and light, it clocks an impressive 0-100km/h time of a mere 3.7secs. Or as my friend put it, "WA!! Can Fly!!"

See this Beauty?? There was one like this at the road show, parked with its doors open between 2 Lamborghini Gallarados, 1 of which was a spyder. This car pictured here is a 2007 Lamborghini Murcielago LP640. Here's the surprise, the car is registered here. The ERP unit was installed and visible for all to see. The car had a custom paint job too. Apparently Russian military colours complete with a red star on the hood. =D

Then saw an entire multitude of subarus. There are SO many variations of the WRX and its lesser sibling the 1.6ts that we couldn't tell them apart.

There was also the Rinspeed car which I belived is called the Zen. That particular car looks like a porsche from the front. But it runs on natural gas and has a jewel on the centre of the rims.

Also so many other beautiful machines, including an S2000, a 350Z and the latest hyundai tuscani.

Then I went for the precision drivng show.

The guy's name was Ross Swift or something like that.. haha.. It was a jaw-dropping display of skill.. the dude skidded his car into a parallel park between 2 other cars and when parked, the width of the gap between the cars was less then 50cm. And he got out of that space with one swift maneuver. He made full use of the car's torque and it seemed like the car pivoted on the rear right wheel and spun itself out of that tight spot. Then came the display which left me speechless. He did an S-course between two cars. Sound normal? Well, dig this - He did it with only 2 wheels on the ground. He made the car turn right round the 1st parked car then left round the 2nd parked car. Both his left wheels were in the air, how skillful is that?? And guess what? The car was carrying passengers. 3 of them. I was simply stunned.. He also made his car's rear end slide out when he was going straight. I don't really know how to describe it, but its a really cool trick. Then he finished the display with a bunch of drifts and a donut display!! I got that bit on my phone too! yay! Should've recorded the S-course one too but it slipped my mind.. Nvm, shall wait for the next time he comes and then record that whole performance. Anyone know where I can learn to drive like him? Oh and Drift like tha Jap guy?? hahaha... Oh wells, better end here.. Take care everyone!!!

2006-11-15T21:02:00.000+08:00

Todays was a boring day, but learnt a few things abt our beloved 5-ton.. which really doesnt weigh 5 tons.. Then, discovered it is actually a rather sophisicated truck.. Quite a marvel actually.. Yeah.. Saw a 6day old monitor lizard body.. Darn gross! Surprised I could actually stomach lunch.. All the maggots and flys.. Initialy. I thought that it was juz scales near the section before the tail.. Then only when the truck got closer and slowed down that I realised that it was all maggots! And the head was missing!! Yuck!!! newaes, Helped the driver earned a good 100km.. Not bad.. considering that the depot is only so big.. Yea.. But the sadness keeps seeping in... I hope Ill be fine...

2006-11-14T20:59:00.000+08:00

Yay! Din go camp today!! =D Its a forced off but hey! still off right?? I wish I could dont hate her.. I really do.. but everything she says.. does.. just pushes the limits.. No one understands what being in a screwed camp with fucked up 'commanders' is like.. No doubt I say it is fine.. What else do u expect me to say?? The truth?? Like hell.. I'll probably juz draw more flak from "friends and family". I like the show 'turning point'.. Its inspirational.. but I hope it is transparent and not edited and cut and dramatised.. Come to think of it.. I never did thank Helen jie jie for all the help and advice she rendered to me.. Nor the cops for the chance they gave.. I'll probably wont be able to thank the cops but I'll definately find a chance to thank Helen.. Hope people learn NOT to discriminate against people with records..

Where has all my direction and drive gone... Im like a mindless corpse.. Simply wandering.. Down this dirt path.. Off the paved track.. On one side, a dark devouring forest.. The other, a sheer abyss.. A dead drop to the raging and blood hungry rocks that crown the frothing infinite liquid sky.. 5 rds.. Its more then adequate for the end of the dirt track.

2006-11-11T21:29:00.000+08:00

I DO NOT JOIN THAT WHICH I DO NOT FEEL APART OF!!

GET THAT IN YOUR HEAD!!!!!

2006-11-08T23:29:00.000+08:00

toWellz.. 2molo is back to camp.. A good thing actually.. Need to finish my floorplans.. left 3 more to do.. and Im so gonna cry cause must re-do ALL of them.. Too much movement to just modify my old ones.. Bleah.. at least I know I'll be busy working and not wasting time.. gonna slp att 1130 today.. the latest I allow myself, lest I wanna be a zombie 2molo morning in camp.. Not that its such a bad idea now that I think of it.. Just decided to post less personal stuff here.. All the other stuff Im feeling inside will be shifted to my msn page.. Suddenly, this urge for friends and acceptance has drifted off.. I prefer when I was alone.. Not that its any much difference these days.. I know that Randy will continue to be a great friend even after army.. Common interests... Tts impt in making friends.. at least for me it is.. otherwise, I'll will juz feel isolated.. used.. Dont mind telling you all, friends with no common ground are generally steadfast but rare in my opinion.. Wells.. going off now.. nightmares to all! xP

2006-11-07T06:51:00.000+08:00

Yesterday evening was one of the earliest FOs I've ever got! Thanks Lta. Ben! He apparently decided to talk to us, and opened his session with a false tekan session. he was brief and to-the-point. The way I like my military briefings.. Short, sharp and clear. I managed to finish 1 of my 4 assignments due on the 15th yesterday.. Not bad, considering that the place and movement done to it.. All in all, it was a good day for me.. No irritating whining bullies, plently of purposeful work to keep me occupied and an EFO.. plus, thanks to the EFO and Kok Liang, I got down early enuf to catch a rather early 67 and saw X2! My goodness! She's so pretty and feminine looking now! It was fantastic to see her.. Didn chat with her tho.. she had 'company' if you catch my drift.. Anyways, in case all of you are wondering why this post is done so ridiculously early in the morning, its cause im waiting for the poly clinic to open. So, till then ppl!! God bless and forgive the world!!

2006-11-05T23:37:00.000+08:00

To move or not to move.... That is the question, with every1 else so excited on moving, its easy to forget about the work that comes along with it.. All spoilt brats and you expect them to do the work required?? I think it'd be easier for a darn firestarter to maim a fafnir then to do that. All they know is TALK TALK TALK about the work, then PLAN PLAN PLAN so that it will satisfy everybody concerned but when the WORK WORK WORK comes, I gotta feeling that suddenly all will throw smoke and become fluid (Slip and slide under the responsibilities so another will do it). Sure, sure, you got no shortage of peoplae wanting to fill limelight positions, how about the support crewe? The dirty work?? Un-recognized work??? I take one look and think that its time for me to abandon my project. Aint getting anywhere.. And no worrys about this responsibility falling on other people cause they all think this particular 'responsibitity' is extra and un-needed... We will see wont we?? We will see.....

2006-11-02T22:51:00.000+08:00

Damn Tear-gas.... Now I got a bad throat to worry about in addition to my constant headaches..
Its mostly a combination of bad luck and hastiness though.. The bay next door just happened to be fiddling with tear-gas and I had to half-ignore my sarge's advice to NOT breathe if I din wanna cry.. I decided to juz take shallow breaths.. By the time I came out with my container, which was less then 60secs, I had a runny nose and was sneezing my head off... When the 1wo realized that we were inside his building, he causualy popped his head thru the window in the wall and told us that if we encounter runny nose, tearing eyes and sneeze alot, its normal thanks to the bay next to us... Wells, I din think much so juz continued to work without taking a breath of fresh air.. So now here I am.. With a growing load of problems, a constant headache and a sore throat.. Just another day in my life..

2006-10-31T21:12:00.000+08:00

Today, in the depot a friend asked, how do you know which are the clouds in the sky... It was an overcast day and from the depot we could see 3 diff colours in the sky, the nice sky blue, cotton white and sort of sea-grey... I didnt know what to answer.. But it is wonderful to ponder over such a simple, random question...

Later when we reach my own ESH, lightning struck an area that was relatively close to us, ironically just after we mentioned that the three of us shldnt be walking in the open during such weather and that we COULD be struck by lightning...
It was so close you could hear the impact of the lightning striking an object.. I belive it struck the lamp post by the bend outside the ESH.. It was magnificient. The light was blindingly bright, it happened so fast that one probably couldnt even finish blinking an eye before the whole episode ended... The sound... I don't know how to explain it, but it is like no other.. Something like lightning blasts from heros 3, but much more awe inspiring.. Certainly, it was dangerously close.. But all I felt was awe and just simply humbled that the creator of that lightning strike would actually bother to care for one such as me.... It was a once in lifetime experience.. To have lightning strike in front of me.. Would never trade it for anything else...

2006-10-30T21:12:00.000+08:00

Wells, Im giving my minimum best right now.. Its just sufficient to keep myself out of trouble currently, do not feel that this particular camp deserves my all... Higher-ups always love to talk about the bigger picture and how it affects their decisions in stuff.. But is the big picture just one single picture? OR is it really multiple "smaller" pictures linked together? So can you get the big picture without understanding the small ones? I wonder smtimes.. Or even so, what makes their picture the "big" one?? Just because they are above? In a chain of command?? Fresh out of a school and not knowing how the grunts function, yet ordering everyone around as if they ARE the damn creator of groundwork... Nuts. Their just lucky I dun wan any trouble during my 2yr stay.. But then again.... 5 rds... hehe...

Bleh.. Wonder what the silly word verification is for.. seems to just keep getting longer... oh wells.. life is simplicity made complex by the dullness of humans......

2006-10-29T03:36:00.000+08:00

Wells.. Din go to church again.. starting to become quite routine actually... Went to JP instead.. Chiong ID! =D one the few things capable of keeping me happy these days.. No pros today, so had a whale of a time training.. My E4 earned one lvl too..

Im starting to wonder what drives me on now.. I know I've lost confidence in alot of things.. Including friends.. Im hearing stuff I shldnt be hearing.. It isnt right.. something is really wrong with my relationships with people.. Everything.. Confusion.. Wish I could just end it all... like I said.. 5rds.. its alot when ur going insane....

2006-10-27T10:44:00.000+08:00

GOOD LUCK TO ALL A's Students!

Study tactically, remember that if you aim for the stars and miss, you'll land on the moon.. Miss that and You'll land admist the clouds.. Even then, if you fall it will be to into the arms of friends back down on earth.. So don't worry! =)

Take Care! Hope to see you soon mei!!

Back!!! At Long last.. Really wonderful to be home again.. Earned a good 3days off thanks to this duty.. But extremely shagged le.. I think most likely I'll give up making more friends le, seems people think Im nice to be bullied... Nvm.. Im near my limits.. I know it, already snapped once.. Not sure what Ill do this time round... Saw another accident to day, or at least the aftermath of on, some poor bloke probably went over the edge of the bedok north filter lane, the guard rails were totaled.. Wonder how some people can crash until like that... Well... Gonna get rest now.. maybe Ill post again later...

2006-10-17T23:43:00.000+08:00

Well, well, well... Cpt Gaimon thinks he knows it all.... Just cause some of the guys come out early nearly daily, doesnt mean that we are propery staffed and do not lack manpower. I bet you couldnt handle a storhouse properly for a month. Don't know how it works in the field , just the theory. Jackass. Typical of the army.

That aside, range today got terminated halfway due to 'unforeseen circumstances', namely an apparent forest fire nearby. It wad good to see they stopped us from shooting as to protect the firemen from bo-bo shooters, but why did the camp's training go on? We saw a group of soilders training along the road by the range we were in. The fire WAS bad enough to warrant 2 fire engines, a foam truck(I think), a Rhino and an a tracked ATV along with a host of other support vehicles. We left the range finally at about 730pm. We could see the glow of the fire over the horizon, see and smell the smoke too.. I was still raging when we left. Pray that God has help those firemen. Take care people, I wont be blogging for a week due to stayin. Peace and God Bless!

2006-10-11T23:03:00.000+08:00

Wellz, I've just decided to post fictional stories that I cook-up here at this blog from time to time.. Hope you guys don't mind.. Anyways, seems that perhaps I am either thinking too little or too much.. Cant tell.. The confusion just keeps coming.. fast and heavy-hitting.. Don't know when I can weather this barrage till..

2006-10-10T19:39:00.000+08:00

When is right right? I'm so confused now... Many things tugging for attention, but this burdern will not be shared. It is mine alone to bear. I am resigned to my life of being lonely in church, cause I just noticed thats its only in church that Im so lonely, in my camp, Im surrounded by people who are willing to chat with me.. Its a good thing I guess, slowly but surely now I am forming up my own personality and charactor.. I hope by the end of army, I will know who I am, what I want, what I am inside and my true intrests. God Bless and hope it will work out as planned.......

2006-09-29T23:06:00.000+08:00

Todays Race Results......

Round One, Volkswagon Beetle Turbo VS Nissan March.

The Beetle thrashed the March straight out! Haha...

Round Two, Race-Tuned NSX-R VS Supra RZ

NSX-R is the faster of the two,one heck of a screamer and is HELL NOISY to redline!!
The Supra has a very nice blow-off noise... Is much much quiter and smooth revving..

I lost this match cause I clouldnt handle the car well..

Round Three, 350Z VS 350Z

The car feels funny... And is fairly hard to handle but has plently of grunt under e hood..

Round Four, RX-7 VS WRX STi

Rx-7 doesnt disappoint and handles well, brakes well too..
STi is more powerful but I dunno how it handles cause I wasnt using it..

Lost this one cause I gave way to the STi... =P

Wells, just so you know I din go GTA in real life, races were conducted in the safety of the underground Zone X at an MRT station and in the seat of 'Battle Gear 4' haha...
Randy was my opponent today.. Sunday is Kenny's turn.. hehe...